Why yes, I am THE Andrew

The Common Fear

2011-11-06T22:48:00.000-08:00

Fear is one of the most powerful forces in the world...just look at what fear has given people the ability to do. The Holocaust, the Cold War, the dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. Fear cripples a person, a community, even a civilization. Some of our weakest moments in our lives are during times of great fear. It is truly exhausting for a person to live in fear, waking up in the morning to a pit deep within you that is filled with fear. It takes your energy, your mind, even your hunger. Once fear has broken someone, they will turn to literally anything that will relieve them, even if only for a second or two. That relief is where the danger lies in wait. This relief is what causes civilizations to crumble, causes friends to be forever broken, causes people to lose faith. It is in these moments of relief that the worlds biggest mistakes have been made. All any mistake takes is simply saying yes to someone or something, and in a weak moment many people will. We sometimes forget how easy it is to create turmoil. In a weak moment we look to others, the people we surround ourselves with. Do we have trustworthy people to lead us on out of the darkness or will they simply ignore you and continue on?
It is hilarious to me when I look back on my life and the situations I have been in. The time the girl punched me in the stomach when i told her that I loved her (3rd grade). Impressive right? Yeah I tell it like it is. The time I flipped my dirtbike and told my friend Logan that I broke both of my knees, I was just in shock though. When I had to ask a girl to my first homecoming, yeah I was shaking. My first speeding ticket and when I had to tell my mother and father about it. Graduating from highschool and having to go to college. The hilarious thing about each of these situations is that I was probably thinking that this is the scariest event that I will ever experience in my life, nothing will ever change me like this has. I feel that everyone thinks that exact same thing each time we get trapped in fear. Take heart though! We are stronger than we realize...and very few realize this. Everyone has the ability to stand on their own two legs and face a situation. It is with the confidence and strength that God designed us with and instills into us everyday that we walk this earth in faith. Yes we have seen what fear has done in this world and it is truly daunting, but look at what man has done in this world. The Lunar Landing, the Golden Gate Bridge, Dubai...look at the civilizations that we have built across this planet earth! How can fear be so daunting when we have accomplished so much? It is because we understand that fear can easily destroy it all. But while fear can destroy something, it is in faith that it may be rebuilt stronger than it ever has been.

Rome is Still Burning

2011-06-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

In AD 64, the world watched as one of its greatest and most powerful Empires burned to the ground. A historic Empire losing itself and spiraling out of control thanks to one event. There are many theories as to how the fire actually began but a few seem to put the blame on one person. Emperor Nero. One man brought down Rome, thats all it took...

When did it become okay in this world to ignore personal responsibility? When did it become a social norm for people to be a person of faith yet belligerently break God's commandments and challenges, and be able to walk into church that Sunday and no one say anything to them? When did pastors become more concerned about numbers...those attending church, facebook friends, twitter followers, radio show listeners, amount of people saved in a service, contacts in a phonebook...it used to be all about one. I have been taught in my life as well as learned that if you can do anything, save one, help one, do something for someone. If you decide something isn't important because no one is going, you are severely missing out. This fear of losing numbers has caused pastors to become "soft". They now allow, "'I'm working on it", to fly instead of only recognizing, "I'm sorry and I'm going to change." We've created a community of Christians where it's almost "too safe." We don't challenge each other or go out of our comfort zones. Why do you think that "Sunday Christians" exist? Its because we haven't taught people to stand up for themselves. We will play christian in church because its a safe zone where no one will judge us for standing up for our spiritual beliefs but as soon as a challenge prevents itself elsewhere away from our safe haven, we crack, afraid of what those around us will think, do, or say. Heck in that instant that you stand up for yourself you might lose that facebook friend or twitter follower...Pastors won't challenge their churches. I don't mean challenge as in, "this week let's try to act like we have faith", I am talking about using strong words instead of sugar coating it. Make people serious about coming to their church. BUT that fear of numbers scares the crap out of church leaders. So much so that they miss the big picture by staring at the numbers. If they can't save one hundred at once, don't do it. Be nice to our church-goers. We can't teach them to be God fearing, how would that look? People scared of God...its just not right. People aren't learning the truth.

The truth is It only takes one person to destroy an Empire...history has proved that, but we've also witnessed in history that it only takes ONE to save us all.

The Fall

2010-10-23T18:46:00.000-07:00

In bible study this week we talked about how men should be, spiritually speaking, in relationships. How we should be spiritual leaders. That is not the point of what I am writing though, just a quick back-story to where I'm getting my thoughts.
So in the beginnings of Genesis we have Adam and Eve. Wonderful people, like long walks on the beach, bowling, listening to bad music...however they also had a terrible fruit addiction. God recognized this and told them to stop, but they did the exact opposite and ate from a tree that grew the most delicious fruit of all. This was the fall of man. We became imperfect and sinful. Adam and Eve immediately recognized their imperfections and hid. They covered themselves in leaves and hid from God. Notice how they covered themselves...do we not do the same thing today? We cover our imperfections with little things as we show ourselves to God saying, "Look Lord! I am perfect in your eyes!" Then we bite our lips as he observes us. The first leaf is pulled off. "What is this?" God asks us. "Oh...Never noticed that before...how was your day?" We cannot bear to show our true imperfect selves to the one who loves us for who we are. Our creator. Now, how can we improve ourselves or move towards perfection, if we hide ourselves from the one who is perfect? Are we so prideful that we lie to the one who knows the truth always? Lying to God is like yelling at a stump, it helps nothing. Unless we show him our true selves how can he help us? Most of us know how God gets our attention...He busts the doors of our lives wide open and says, "My turn." I laugh when I think about it, how childish we must be! I feel like people act like my 2 year old nephews act. They do the opposite of what you say, and so we all do to God. Tell my nephews to stand in a spot for 1 minute and you'll be right back. 1 minute later you return to find the spot vacated and the kid half way to China. Are we much different? Yes and no. We cannot listen to simple demands of us and so we are the same, yet we work MUCH harder to cover things up, and we are different.
I find it so interesting that Adam and Eve hid though. The passage in the bible that says this stands out to me in a ridiculous way. They not only covered themselves they also hid from the one who can see everything. Then I wonder, how are we any different??? We go day to day hiding from God, consciously and subconsciously. Then reveal ourselves at our prayer time or something similar. "Here I am God and I am ready to talk." We go over things and then tell Him goodbye and walk around the corner. However, the minute we reach the corner we find the nearest ally and sprint down it and hide again. Realistically I'm saying that we do not spend every minute of everyday with God. We set up play dates but outside of those we ask Him to leave us alone.
I know I'm saying a lot but this is an extreme description. We all do this but for some only to certain extents. anyways...
My point is that we as Christians need to learn how to truly communicate and walk with God. We miss out on so much joy simply because we do not allow him into our lives, only certain parts of them. We are to walk with God in our daily lives, without that walk...we are simply walking around in the dark with nothing being revealed to us.

The Ultimate Dare

2010-08-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

I'll start off a story as an example of where I'm going to go with this blog.
My newphews are all starting to reach that age where they realize that they have the ability to ignore adults. "Don't touch that!" Archer creeps closer. "Don't touch that Archer." Another step. "Archer, do not touch that." He touches whatever it was...and you now learn that telling them not to do something no longer suffices. You have to physically pull them away if they continue to ignore you! Now they aren't exactly ignoring you, there is purpose in what they are doing. They are pushing you further and further to see just how far they can get before you take action and they get into trouble. Some of you are laughing and thinking how difficult kids can be, probably reminiscing on times that you dealt with a kid doing the same thing. Remember how frustrating it was? Well adults are no different.

haha how did that feel? I was joking about kids and then I called everyone out for acting no differently! It didn't feel good to me either.

10 strict commandments...other spiritual guidelines (drinking, sex, lying...these things), and everlasting life as our reward! It is an easy gig right? NO! "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Well we screwed that up. BUT we are forgiven! However this time we will be more cautious. And like my nephews, we test the waters of God. How far can we go before lightening strikes? Before we feel the loneliness and forsakenness? Well culture continually pushes further and further. It is, for the most part, culturally accepted to have pre-marital sex and to do drugs and get smashed...all in one night! I've actually heard people tell me that it is actually okay because culture accepts it...that christianity is adaptive of culture and so it changes as culture changes. This is true to an extent...but the rules and commandments are clearly universal! They don't change...God does not have political parties asking for amendments...God tells us not to do something and we continually step closer and closer to it! The closer to it we get the further away from Him we get. I've felt that distance and it is the worst feeling imaginable. Some people do not realize that they are feeling the distance because they have never felt true closeness with God.

In order to feel that closeness they have to HAVE TO step away from the things that pull us away from a relationship with our Father. We gotta step out of that ignorant culture that the world has developed and into one that has seemed to slip into the shadows. How many people do you think will do that? It is a big thing to ask someone to step out of the popular norm and into something challenging. We can not show them the reward...they have to discover it for themselves!

So the challange I present in this blog....
Quit seeing everything in black and white. Quit living the cultured cookie cutter lifestyle. Make a change! A life away from those distractions will grant you more reward than anything else on this earth can. We are taught to run away from challenges, to take the easy route....do not belittle yourself and accept what is easy. In the end life becomes more difficult and without purpose. Do not accept the current standards of the world! Just because culture okays it, it does not make whatever act it is okay! "But everyone is doing it!" Congratulations! Why don't you do something that everyone isn't doing? Afraid to stand out, be unique, and be different? Hold high standards and push yourself and others to meet them?

I dare you

What it takes

2010-06-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about faith today and how somebody knows that they actually have faith in God. How does your faith grow? Stuff like that. Most of my thoughts dealt with how your faith actually grows. Is it through constant tests and trials? Is it through constant prayer? Us telling God at every meal that we trust him? I honestly don't know, but what I THINK I know is that we grow in faith through all of that. We grow when we concentrate on our mutual relationship with the Lord. Its about keeping that connection we have established...not hanging up on our end of the phone. In our trials, we can't just go through them...thats not the point. The point is where are you after you make it through? Are you lower than you were before? Are you exactly the same? Or have you grown? If you haven't grown then you've failed. We go through trials to learn about ourselves, to push our faith so far that it MUST grow. If you come out on the other end stronger...nothing can take you down. It's not one of those things where God hands you a test, you pass, then you are done! Ya you graduated Gods class and now you can live your life. Nah thats bull. More tests come, so that we may improve, to better serve the Lord. We are stubborn poeple! Realize this! Sometimes tests are the only way that God can get us to SHUTUP about how horrible our lives are so that we can listen to Him and let him step into our lives. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom first. Then they can grow, it's like restarting your life. You must be stripped of everything first, until you stand with nothing, you stand alone. Then you have a choice...try rebuilding with the exact same blocks that crumbled out from under you, or ask God to help you rebuild in the way that is right according to him. Then you will stand above everything that is wrong in this world, stronger than any challenge you've faced and ever will face. You'll no longer be standing alone.

The Answer

2010-04-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

My back hurts everyday so I take Tylenol, I have heartburn issues throughout the day so I take Prilosec, maybe I get tired and I take a fatburner to give me energy and help me lose weight.
That is maybe 1/3 the actual amount of pills that some people take. AND IM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE ALL NOT NEEDED! My point is that as a society we are beginning to move, or sorry, we have made the movement towards making things accomodate our lifestyle...our very unhealthy lifestyle. Our bones ache because we don't exercise and are gaining weight. LETS MAKE A PILL FOR THAT! So now we can take medicine that allows us to do nothing all day without pain or discomfort. nice.
I saw a tv show the other day about a girl with "social anxiety disorder." Are they just making stuff up now? It's just like card companies and holidays....making excuses to sell more products. I mean i feel for the girl shes got something going on but in the end its just stress! I'm pretty sure the show just helped her handle it with practice in situations. I believe these problems exist because we let them...instead of addressing the issue and working on fixing it, we give it a name and then it becomes an excuse. This may be random but my sociology class has been studying this aspect of "comfort drugs" for awhile and I think its interesting.

Fishtank

2010-03-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at my gate and I'm jusy chillin people watching. I'm thinking about how many people there are on this earth, with their own agendas, own places to go....and I will never know them. I just saw a guy with a beard and a green shirt and I will likely never see him again. If I do I doubt I'll reconize him. This world is so big and we are all trapped in such bubbles. We feel bad for fish in a tank because they will probably never experience the ocean, but are we much different? We have freedom to travel most anywhere and fish do not, but many do not travel past the borders of our nation...our giant fish tank. And just like fish, everytime someone taps on the glass of our bubble we get scared. Someone we don't know or change walks into our lives and tries to mix things up. Humans for the most part hate change but there are those out there that crave it. I feel that I am a happy medium. That doesn't matter right now though. Right now I'm trying tonlook at the bigger picture outside of me, I'm trying to look at everyone. Things we have in common...
Creator
physcal needs
dialect or language
hopes and dreams
we are all alive
we are at an airport...
But what about the deeper things? Specifics? Everyone has theirown belief set, even with a common religion. My views as a follower probably don't match exactly with all followers. How though? We have a bible...it says the same thing to everyone but not everyone interprets it the same. As followers we lack connection and community. With more denominations than I can count on my hands it is so easy to get lost. We look for churches and types of faith that fit us, but shouldn't it be us that try to fit to God? God is not maleable...He is firm and knows everything about us. What do we know? Not much! So rather than look a Gods commandments like a build your own dinner plate where we pick and choose what sounds good to us, we need to realize that we are either all in...or just lying to ourselves.

Means to an End

2010-03-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

The other day I was walking back to my dorm from class and as I passed by the Union, a man handed me a little brochure deal that said, "How to get to Heaven" on the front. Now, I respect what this guy is doing, he is trying to spread the good word. Is he spreading the right word though? First of all I already dislike the word christian. It comes with such hypocrisy and confusion. All this thanks to those who call themselves christians but live otherwise. So already I'm thinking this guy is being judged by everyone around. I read the pamphlet though and it was interesting but as I thought about it I realized that what this pamphlet represents is wrong. It represents a literal "Means to an End." (Thats why I titled this blog). Basically the pamphlet witnesses to whoever reads it and tells you how to accept Christ and then BOOM heaven everlasting is yours. Okay....so it is telling us how to set an ensurance trap for the end of our lives. No matter what, I dont go to hell. What about the middle part..whats it call? Oh LIFE. It explained nothing about how to live as a true follower, or why, or even the 10 commandments. This is likely because that scares people. "No don't challenge them! Just give them heaven and bang we saved someone." I feel that it is one thing to just simply save someone, and its entirely something else to save them and show them how to live their lives as Christ would have them. To do this is to give them something that only God can give. They think they've experience happiness, love, and fulfillment...just wait until they've experienced joy, God's love, and God's fulfillment. All of these things only given by God. That is when they will know that they have done something incredible, they have stepped up.
As followers today we need to analyze our relationship with Christ. Is it just an ensurance trap so that we don't spend the rest of our lives in fire? Or are we actually living for God? Believe me when I say, living for God brings about things that this world can not, absolutely can not offer.

Discovery

2010-02-10T17:27:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile....as I always say. So heres a new blog for now.

This one is about faith. Fear of God. Walking with God. Having a daily need for God. Discovering how you were once a christian living in a dead body. This is about the radical turns that my life has taken in the past 6 months.

In high school, particularly the Christian Private school world that I was in, life is like a movie. You walk through it in this Christian bubble. Yes there were drugs, sex, and alcohol where I was but it never surrounded me or tempted me. Summer was the same but then the first week of college kind of changed the game. Within 3 nights of arriving my room was packed with people who were absolutely wasted at 2 o'clock in the morning. Im not gonna lie it was hilarious and incredibly fun getting to watch all of the absent minded people. Weeks later I started struggling, not with my morals but with frustration. I never realized how bad things could be. People are one way during the week and then the weekend you suddenly realize...they are different. Parties like this didn't exist for me in Frisco, it was always have all my friends over for a cookout and flash light tag or a movie or something else that is ridiculous. That kind of fun doesn't seem to exist here and I miss that.

So now I'm in college, surrounded by everything that was outside of my little christian academy bubble and I was terrified, frustrated, confused...but I found something that I hadn't had before. I realized that I was a dead christian. I walked the walk and had some sort of faith but it wasn't true faith where I was constantly relying on God. I had nothing to struggle with so I just kinda left it to myself but now I do have things to struggle with and I take them all to God. Constant communication with God where He effects my every decision and thought. I tell God everything, my fears, my hopes, what's on my mind, how stupid I think a few of my teachers are. He wants to listen so why not say it all? Great relief comes from this, weight off my shoulders, joy enters my life and fills the gap where confusion and emptiness once resided. It's scary actually how much God has changed my life even from where I felt like I was this excellent christian. That quickly flipped as God punched me in the face...not literally of course. So now I actually am hanging on to faith and I love it. My life has never been so incredible and full of joy. I've even started my own bible study in hopes that maybe others can find what I found and feel the way I feel.

And for everyone who knows me through family or some other way that follows my life on facebook via photos and other comments....just call me and ask me how I am...do not approach me when Im at home and say that there is stuff on facebook that shouldn't be there. Do not act suprised when I tell you that I've been studying hard and say, "Oh you do study? Well there are only pictures of you partying on facebook." Do not tell me that I am with the wrong crowd and am falling into a sinful life based on research that you've done via facebook photos. That makes me so angry when people begin to assume and start calling me or making false judgements. I am having fun, I am surrounded by incredible people, I am the same person I was before college just with major improvements on my spiritual life. So now, next time I come home and I see you just say, "Hey I missed you how is college?" If you are worried about me in any way tell me that you are so that I can reassure you that I am doing fine and have not fallen into anything that I shouldn't have. Just pray for me to keep on the path that Christ has laid out for me.

Sorry for the rant but I do not know how to get into touch with these people other than my blog.

Intervention

2009-11-20T00:30:00.000-08:00

Haven't done a blog in awhile and this one just hit me in the middle of doing laundry at...yes 2 am...college is cool like that.

Being perfect, I feel safe to say, is impossible. Yes everyone here is our intervention it is impossible. We are human we make mistakes, we move on and tread ever so carefully as we try to avoid more but at some point we will step on the broken glass. I think that in some way shape or form all of us seek perfection. Maybe not in their all around lives but perhaps sports, education, spiritual lives, maybe something else random. Well lets look at this, we have seen pitchers throw perfect games, we've seen our piers get all A's in school, and I'm sure that someone has found perfection is something else random. Spirituality though, its the hard one. Incredibly demanding, incredibly thorough even though its just 10 commandments, and incredibly difficult.

Intervention Step #1 - Spiritual Intervention

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - There it is, need I repeat it? I'm sorry but the bible says it. Okay so there went our spiritual perfection right out the window before I even got to wave. We have all heard that bible verse, I couldn't tell you what book it is in but It's meaning is simple. We do not deserve the gift that we hold in our arms. We have not earned it, our actions do not get us into heaven. Now our actions may bring us blessings, but they do not speak "Open Sesame" at the front gates of heaven.

Intervention Step #2 - Spiritual Realization

This is about the time that if your lightbulb hasn't gone off, it should soon OR you have already realized everything I'm saying and you are sitting there nodding. I mean this just kind of hit me as an interesting blog subject and I haven't blogged in awhile...besides Yvonne told me on the phone to get back at it. Yvonne says do something...you do it. Seriously. Anyway we understand that we cannot be perfect, breath, its okay. Many of us have heard that argument, WE ARE BORN INTO A SINFUL WORLD V. WE ARE BORN WITH A SIN NATURE. Basically we are born perfect and learn sin through this imperfect world or we are born with a sinful nature and no matter how perfect or imperfect the world is...we are born to sin. I don't stand on either side as of now BUT no matter the answer, they are no excuse. "I sinned because its in my nature"...ehhhh try a new one...doctors note perhaps? Realize that you are responsible for yourself. God is there, friends are there though. Pray for God to help you, go to friends for encouragement and discipleship. Believe me, if you are serious, your world will absolutely be rocked.

This blog may seem pointless but to me its something personal. I grew up as that kid in sunday school telling myself, "I'm never messing up, I'm going to be perfect." Wellllllll I lied right then so i screwed up that same day. I lie! I sin! I am a sinner. Okay well what do I do with that? Sit around and mope? I say no. Active christianity involves you getting active with God in your life. Give yourself fully to him, what does he want for you? The best. He will use you according to his perfect will and we will not always like it. Abide by him and his commandments. The world will laugh and make fun of you, the bible basically says it but we are encouraged to stay strong. This would all be pointless if it wasn't reasy right? If you feel like you can't make anything of this life, read the bible, you will realize that you have EVERYTHING to do with God and his plan.

Greatest Freakout!

2009-08-31T17:04:00.001-07:00

One of the most helarious videos I've ever seen! Just to make it clear, this kids mom DELETED his World of Warcraft account...this is just as funny as it is sad...these people are addicts.

Not So Fast Anymore

2009-03-30T21:10:00.001-07:00

I failed in my sugarfast...not to temptation however, but to health. I found myself sleepless at night with a raging headache and sweat dripping from me. At first I thought I was just de-toxing from sugar and continued but a call to Dr. Cliff Sheets, my friendly neighborhood nutritionist, quickly put that to an end. He told me that by completely cutting out sugar from my life had drained my glucose levels and my adrenaline glands were beginning to malfunction (I think). In short I ran down stairs and had an apple at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was 4 days into the fast so the sugar definately buzzed me as I suddenly found myself wanting to go running or lift weights. I am still however going with the 21 day fast from purchasing myself necessities with my own money. I know that it is something that you would give up for lint but I didn't think of it at the time. I also think that I have a sort of problem with saving for something only to blow all the money on a random day after making it halfway to the item I originally intended to save my money for. We all have that problem though. I am hoping that these three weeks will help settle my urge to spend cashmoney and that I pray for patience because I need it. I mean there is this video game that is calling for me....only I cannot buy it. Awesome.

When Words Mean Nothing

2009-03-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

One of the most valuable things that we all hold in our lives is probably our words. No not our ability to speak, but how much strength and weight our words hold with others...if that makes sense. For example, someone falsely accuses me of stealing. I am asked if I did indeed steal and I say no and give my half of the story. If I am trustworthy then my words will hold weight with the person and they should believe me. I don't know if that example helped but please continue reading and hold on to this speck of hope that you will understand. ' (speck). At a very young age everyone picks up lying for some amount of time. Depending on the parents, they might jump on you right away or let it go for awhile finding it cute, but either way we learn to lie. Some begin to quickly learn it's consequences while others quickly learn that there are no consequences if you do not get caught. People that live a life lying eventually earn that reputation and people find them hard to trust at points. What are we if we cannot be trusted? Are we nothing? No we are a person whose words fall upon numbed ears. I say numbed because if you are used to someone lying to you then you eventually just ignore them and live your life. If your words hold no weight you are in a serious hole. People need to trust you, people need to hear you. If people can't then you can never have a deep relationship with a girlfriend, friend, even God. Your relationship may seem deep but if you can't tell the truth to your friend, then who can you? More than likely you are lying to yourself...especially about the intimate relationship thingy. We CANNOT go before God and wear a mask while we scream, "Here I am Lord, all of me." You CANNOT go to your friend and tell them that you are their for them as your condensates on the mouth of the mask that covers your face. If you do...you just might the reply, "who is there for me? certainly not my friend because I don't even know who you are." Maybe not those exact words but I hope you are getting the idea. Still holding onto the speck of hope I gave you? EEEEEEExcellent. To quickly get to my point I leave you with this. Our words our so powerful. They can raise spirits or tear down the strongest of men. They can encourage and rally and they can bring tears as well as cause harm. First, keep the weight of your words strong as you hold others trust in you....don't live behind that mask, and final, use their weight for good...you have them for a reason.

I'm Just That Fast

2009-03-22T19:38:00.000-07:00

Today at church it was announced that we have 21 days until easter, that is what I understood at-least. My pastor requested that anyone who wanted to join him in fasting for the 3 week period. If people wanted they could do the actual fast where meat is not eaten and other sorts...that kind of fast. Then he said that for those who were not willing to do that, we could do another type of fasting where each week he announces something we must go without for the remainder of the 21 days. Today it was sugar, so I proceeded to make my life sugarless!!! It is not all bad actually. It is a good chance to avoid unhealthy foods with better reasons than just to get healthy. Now I feel that I am bringing honor to God every time I pass on a candy bar. To take it a step further however I decided to give up (this gets confusing) using my own money to but personal necessities. This could be shirts, shoes, movies, video games, etc... Unless I actually need it then I cannot purchase it. This I will do for 3 weeks and at the end I will give $100 as tithe on the next sunday. I realize that unnecessary purchases are a major factor in my life and I am hoping to teach myself to save my money rather than blow it all. I truly do feel that I am going to grow closer to God, now just pray for me that I do not slip up!

I HAVE Changed

2009-01-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

In the past year I have lost up to 40 pounds. People tell me that it is impressive for someone as young as me to lose that much weight. Ya to toot my own horn I agree, but if they realized how I felt before I lost all the weight...when I was at my peak 215 pounds. It was actually easy to lose the weight, frustrating, but easy.
When you walk into my room you may notice that above my bathroom doorframe I have a whiteboard with the phrase, "I am going go changed the way people view me, I am going to change the way I view myself." That was exactly where I started. I did not like the way that I felt people viewed me and I hated the way I viewed myself. My two best friends are those two guys with the perfect genes. Athletic and built, so after growing up with them it is only natural to view myself as being like that...but I wasn't. I was a chub tub. It was so frustrating taking off my shirt and seeing my reflection in the pool water or a mirror. God it was so frustrating. I remember how angry I would get, or how low I would fall. Not that I was always angry or sad, it was mostly my alone time where I wasn't around my friends that I felt like that. I had no self esteem at the beginning of my junior year. I was pretty much at rock bottom, and I was somehow still falling. At night I in some way entered my own little depression. I felt a great deal of darkness in the world and this was all over me being such a big guy. I finished off the football season, and yeah I had lost a few pounds but really did not look any different. I was tired of walking through the mall and getting looks from people, those lay off the cookies looks. You say that I probably didn't get them but I did. At school I just felt like the funny chubby kid that everyone likes but just because he's funny yet further than that I was just the chubby kid. It was around December that I began going to a new church. This church changed my life as it taught me to involve God in every aspect of my life. Well, not so much taught as encouraged. Every church teaches that I guess but very few encourage. I began praying for God to help me lose weight and end my frustration. I cannot stress how much frustration I felt. I don't know why but one day I just decided to do this. When we pray for God to do something, like lose weight, he gives us opportunities to do so. I've blogged about this before. Well I decided to make a plan to lose weight. I would eat perfect during the week and then splurge on the weekends. I added more workouts and more protein. My trainer Jason as well as my nutritionist Cliff Sheats played large roles. They are incredibly encouraging. Eventually my friends pointed out that I had lost weight. But it wasn't enough, I did not feel any different when I looked in the mirror. Summer hit and I swam, I swam a lot. I had been told that swimming was the quickest way to weight loss. I believe it now. That summer I went from 195- 174. A 38 waist to a borderline 32. Life became more fun. I walked differently and I felt good. When people looked at me I felt good about it. I myself am a trophy of my success. Look at me, this is what I have accomplished. This is the milestone in my life. My first big thing in life to look back and be proud of. I'm not full of myself I'm just proud. People don't realize how low I had gotten in self-esteem. I mean I was so low. I felt hatred in places where it made no sense. To climb out of such a deep hole is a big climb. I'm at a high point and I plan on staying. If you look at my whiteboard it now says, "I HAVE CHANGED the way people view me, I am going to change the way I view myself."

If you don't believe that I was a chunk before my weight loss just dig up some pictures of me from the past 4 years...you'll be surprised. My friends were. They told me that I was never fat, but when they saw my old pictures they couldn't believe it...neither could I.

In His Demand

2009-01-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

In life I've seen that we have many phrases and answers for certain times and situations. We feel pain we say, "Ouch!". Things are looking down we say, "It will be okay". We have to go to the bathroom we say, "I gotta go to the crapper". And in death or seemingly confusing situations we refer to it as being in God's perfect plan. As a child I have been taught that God has a plan for me and everyone else yet mine is different and special from any others. Of course as a kid I hear that and then shrug my shoulders as I walk off to the nearest sand box or mud pit. Now that I am older however I tend to think about it from time to time. It is mentioned more often in church as well as school and I pay more attention to it. As we grow older I believe that His plan slowly unravels, but for some it is apparent to them much earlier and others much later. I still do not entirely know what His plan for me is but as of now I think it is to find joy in life as I live it and share that joy with others as I help them to find it. I think someday it may change, possibly to something less broad or perhaps it will not change at all. Who knows maybe I will be a Kagillionaire when I am 20 or maybe I will be that homeless man that you deny giving a few pennies too. Either way God has a plan and I am in it. My name is Andrew and I am in his demand.

To Live and Be Let Down

2008-11-14T21:13:00.000-08:00

Of course there are supposed to be disappointments as you go through life. I've heard that many of them happen during high-school... some have also described it as a time of enlightenment or realization. Basically, these realizations can be very frustrating and that is what I am going through right now. My old school Trinity was hard because the kids that I pretty much grew up with were falling right in front of me. 3 of my best friends in my bible study were caught drinking and were kicked out, as well as another one was caught stealing in school. That was in 8th grade. Now in 12th grade things have not seemed to change. People that I looked at for so long and saw them as a model for a christ like life... well not so much. It's not like I don't like them anymore they are all still close friends of mine it is just kind of a shock when someone you've known for awhile flips the lights on and then you can really see. It is an honest let down. You can't really do anything either you are just stuck there watching... as bad as it is to say sometimes I wish I felt the freedom that they had. I find myself envying them however I soon realize that I have an excellent life and I don't want to change anything about it. Such is life.

Like Trees Reach Towards The Sun

2008-09-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

We, all of us, are growing towards something. We are all becoming something everyday. We are all becoming someone everyday. I believe that we don't stop growing towards something or becoming someone even after death. Growth is something that happens everyday, even if we feel as though we shrunk on a specific day. I don't just go through situations, I GROW through situations (I'd like to thank the maker of those stupid encouragement posters in school) So also this must apply to life...I don't just GO through life, I GROW through life. It only makes sense right? We can decide what to grow in everyday and we can also let the common flow of life direct us. I wake up and I want to be a better leader that day...what is stopping me? NOTHING! We control our decisions and what we make of everyday. Someone beats you that day...go home and figure out why. Don't dwell on Why Them? Dwell on Why not me?
My pastor once asked everyone in the crowd that Sunday to raise their hand as high as possible...he paused and all our hands like feet of synchronized swimmers went up...now raise them higher he said. Without blinking all of our hands went higher. Look at yourselves he said, I asked you to raise your hands as high as possible and then when asked to raise them higher they went up higher. Wow...I was blown away. How often are we asked to give everything and after doing so we go home realizing we had so much more to give? My pastor gave the perfect example of how we live our lives. We say our hand is as high as it can go but is it really? We say that we have grown into the best we can be but have we really? Nobody is perfect and nobody is expected to be. What does that say about our society? Our best should be DEMANDED, not cautiously asked for. When our best is demanded we should give it. Only then can we truly grow higher through each day. Now I know that my grades don't show me giving my best. I have nearly all A's but nearly isn't good enough. What is keeping me from having all A's? Honestly I am just being lazy. Just getting by with the lowest standard necessary. My senior year however has been entered with a different perspective. I want to get good grades this year and I know that there is nothing holding me back. I come home saying I'm happy with an 85 in Algebra because I'm terrible at math...no I don't want that anymore, today I want a 95 and nothing is keeping from it. So what if I'm bad at math...get better at it. Tutoring, friends, anything to help me with math. I want to see the results of me doing my best. No more asking me I demand myself to give my all. I think I've grown enough but I'm not nearly there. I have so much more to go and nothing is stopping me. My hand is up as high as it can go...is yours?

They Spiked The Water

2008-08-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

You know that debate that stills goes on...atleast I think it does. That debate that started in freshman bible class when the teacher asks if we are born with a sinful nature or if we are just born into a sinful nature and gradually circle the drain. Basically if we are born perfect or if we are born sinful. Many people have their opinions and I of course have my own. I believe that people are born into a world filled with evil and are influenced into a sinful nature. I do not believe that we are born sinful though. I believe that we were born with minds like that of Adam and Eve before the fall. We were born without knowledge of good and evil and for about 6 seconds after exiting the womb we are bathed in fire. It sounds like I'm saying humans are horrible and I'm not...the reference of being bathed in fire is that we are hit hard by things in the world. It's like Jack said in Meet the Fockers, "Babies are like sponges Greg, little jack is absorbing every move you make...so don't mess him up Focker." We absorb everything going on in the world as soon as we enter it so it is like being bathed in a fire of information...and that is when our perfect nature starts to become imperfect. Upon exiting the womb we head over to the "Baggage Claim" and get our personalities. Scientists might argue that personalities have to do with a balance of hormones and blahdie blahdie blah. But to keep it simple I see a personality as the traits that the child has been around. The child picks those traits up and portrays them throughout his or her life. So now that we are developing our personality we head out the doors and call a cab to take us home. We start growing fast from that point...walking...talking...eating...school...the whole shabang. We start asking mommy what is the difference between a boy and a girl. What does this do? And my favorite, where do babies come from? At this point our knowledge of good and evil is very vast and we now understand that it is our choice whether to do good or evil. That is where temptation comes into play. The way I fight any kind of temptation is I hang onto the thought that the fruits that I will reap if I resist the temptation will be far greater than that of those if I give in. This blog was a completely random one but it was something that I have been thinking about and I never really knew what I thought of the debate so I figured if I blogged about it then I would come to understand where it is that I stand. This blog is in fact an in-complete thought and maybe sometime I will finish it.

My Stomach in My Throat and My Heart on the Table

2008-07-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

Today was just one of those days where you look up towards heaven and just scream "Alright, God...You Broke Me...now what?" I'll start with last night. I got home from my trip to Estes Park Colorado and had subway then went to visit my girlfriend. After that I arrived home only to find that my dog Max was not feeling well. He was shaky and he also vomited a few times. i was up with him until around 3 am. I had a golf tournament this morning that I had to leave my house around 630 for. I awoke to the bright green light of my clock making the figures of 647 and I had 3 missed calls from my dad. Great start...but wait it get's better. I made a protein shake for my tournament and it tasted kinda funny. I finished it and then realized that whoever had washed it last had not washed it well and left a good amount of soap in it. So now I'm tired and I am ready to hurl my guts out. The tournament did not go well and I decided to give up...I'm not proud of it but my dad told me afterwards, "You didn't quit, you just retreated. Sometimes you just gotta know when to retreat." That helped a lot to know that he supported my decision. I got in my truck and removed my golf shoes, i then proceded to look up and say "Alright, God...You broke me...now what?" I got home and heard that my mom had taken max to the vet because he had not improved. I called the vet when I got into my room to check up on him and I got the reply that I did not want, "Andrew I am really worried about Max, He is in bad shape. I will call your mom and explain the situation to her." I broke down, Max is just one of those lights in this somewhat dark world we live in and he is a huge part of my life. I showered then went downstairs. My Mom saw me and told me about Max...I looked at her and said I know then broke down again...I couldn't take it...I need max. To further explain the situation Max had digested a rat that had been exposed to rat poison, and so max was infected. His lungs were full of fluid and he had internal bleeding. We called the company to find out what kind of poison was in it's traps so we could help the Doctors as much as possible. I ended up going to the vet with my mom to talk face to face with the Doctor. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life when the Doctor walked towards us...I broke down again. She however gave my mom and I a ray of hope. She told us he was stable and that he had a possibility of going home tonight. She said that we could go and see him but I knew I couldn't and my mom felt the same so we went and ate. The doctor told us that she would call us after Max had his blood transfusion. It wasn't until around 6 that we got the call and I jumped up and down never feeling so excited before as my mom told me to go pick him up. He was okay...I loved that thought. I drove to pick him up with a smile on my face. I met the doctor and she told me what precautions to take with him. I had to cancel all my plans that night so that I could keep him in the game room as I kept an eye on him. He has a pretty awful cough due to the remaining fluid in his lungs and if his coughing sessions went longer than usual a few times than I was supposed to take him to the animal ER. So now he is sleeping on my bed and doing fine. He coughs and hacks but he is definitely improving. Tomorrow I have to take him in early for another blood transfusion and chest x-ray...from then on he should be getting back to the normal crazy dog he is but it will be a few weeks. If anything I feel blessed that he is still here and terrified of what could have happened today.

Like A Good Book

2008-07-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

I am a people watcher yes I admit it...but so are you! We all people watch but some take there people watching more serious than others. I don't I just think it is funny to write about. I enjoy reading people in public places, for example... The pity laugher, The I'm really not happy to see you, The I really want to eat this but can't, and my favorite The I'm checking her out and I don't think anyone knows. People are so funny so why not watch them? I'm going to colorado Thursday and will more than likely spend all my airport free time reading people. I can't wait to laugh at the pity laugher, they are great. That guy that seems so desperate because he is checking out everything that walks by him just gives me the creeps yet I applaud him because he is entertaining. Honestly people really are like a good book.

My Trainer Doing Stand-Up

2008-07-22T21:20:00.002-07:00

This is his second time to ever do this...he is also a hardcord redneck.

The deafening Heartbeat

2008-07-22T21:20:00.001-07:00

Lately I have been swimming laps in the pool for exercise and I have always found this fascinating. I hope that many of you who read this will see it as amazing as I do. After a few laps your heart is racing...I always go under water and sit for a few seconds to let everything go quiet and then I can hear my heartbeat. It is so loud, like popping your finger under water, but you can almost feel the shock-waves from your chest pounding in the water. Sometimes I'll close my eyes and let myself sink to the bottom...in the seemingly never-ending space of the bottom of my pool I can hear it louder than ever. I can feel it beating through my body and feel it in the water all around me. When I do this it is not like my heartbeat is racing but it is beating harder than usual. Could it possibly be my body reacting to the feeling of being in infinite space? I relate it to being in the middle of a room in pitch black darkness...if you have read my entry about fear then you should understand. It's my body reacting to the silent fear (that being the fear that I subconsciously have) of being under water not being able to see? It feels so cool because you don't feel closed in, you don't feel like you are in a pool. Take the lake this weekend for example, my friend lucas and I were just off of the shore of their lakehouse and we were wading out until we had to swim to stay above water. We then continued to swim to the bottom and come back up just to see how deep it is. It was so terrifically terrifying being under water in the lake because it is pitch black and huge. For a moment (until you reach the bottom) you are floating in space and there is nothing around you. The water itself does not even feel like it is there. Some of you may say that I am taking a simple event like swimming way over the edge and I am in fact weird. That is okay, I'm just telling you what goes on in my head.

Stranded

2008-07-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

No this is not a blog about a new reality show that I am creating, it is actually about a situation that everyone has been put in. It is a situation of desperation, extreme danger, and embarrassing reality. If you read my beloved sister Katy's blog, you may see that this particular entry resembles many of hers. This is because it is overly detailed (as in to much information), personally embarrassing, and you make exit the page disgusted...enjoy.
So everyone has been in this situation...There I am, innocently sitting on the pot (toilet) taking care of my bizniz (business), and as I complete what I like to call "Double Overtime" I reach for my good friend Mr. TP. As I reach for Mr. TP I realize that he is absent from my bathroom, all that I can feel is cardboard...this is not a comforting feeling. It's like walking up the stairs to your room in the dark, and thinking that there is one more stair than there actually is your foot falls through the air and there is a short moment of sickly surprise (I'd like to thank the academy). I was terrified, I continued to scan my tiny sanctuary for a spare roll yet my eyes fall upon nothing soft, white, and papery. This next part I am not proud of but I was desperate. I stood up from my throne to check the cabinet for a roll yet that is also empty...to be even more detailed I was actually getting ready to shower so I had no clothes on...sexxxxxxxxy. I knew that my only chance of survival was to proceed down the hall into my sister katy's room...there was word that toilet paper had been sighted there. I planned this out hardcore alright, I knew that my mom was napping with my nephew connor, so they were taken care of and would not see the embarrassing situation that I was in, Ricky was outside, and Elena...could be anywhere. She was the only threat, I had about 15 yards to Katy's room, those 15 yards will be referred to as "No Mans Land". I decided to put on some boxers but I had to walk awkwardly as to keep them you know...clean. I truly am disgusted at how detailed this blog is but it's been inspired by Katy...blame her. Anyway I poke my head out my door, coast was clear and it was go time. It was a left out of my room, up 3 stairs, and a right into the safe haven. I proceeded quickly into No Mans Land and I was terrified. This could potentially have been the most embarrassing moment of my life...but it wasn't because let's face it, I'm just that good. So I make it into Katy's bathroom and do what I need to do. After all was said and done I noticed that she had one of those super magnified mirrors on her wall. I had to investigate. It was so cool, it even had a light around it. This thing was the bees knees ya know, but then I looked into it and It was very revealing as to how scary my face actually looks. Let's just say that I may have nightmares cause this thing is close up and personal.

I sincerely apologize for this blog but it was worth it. I am human and everyone has had that happen to them. I just wrote about it!

Gods Pop Test

2008-06-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

You know how people say that God is always testing us. That whenever we pray to God for something he provides us with opportunities instead of just giving us what we asked for. For a better idea I provide the example of me asking God to help me make good decisions during my highschool career, instead of just making good decisions for me God provides me with opportunities to make those good decisions. God answers our prayers, he helps us, and he also rewards us. This idea came to me while I was hiking around a lake and partly up a mountain today in the Grand Tetons National Park. I realized that I wanted to turn back, I was tired and didn't want to go any further. We got to one point where we had a choice to either go to a boat dock and take a boat back or climb further up the mountain and see more of the beauty it has to offer. I decided, "I'm here and I am not missing out on anything." I made it to the first stop, about 2/10 of a mile, at a huge waterfall that was beautiful. I had a choice again to continue steeply uphill another 5/10 of a mile to the last stop on the trail, a place called inspiration point. It was not easy but I got there and it was magnificent. An overlook of a lake and mountains with a seemingly painted sky. It hit me, I could have missed out on all of this if I had decided to go to the boat dock. I feel that God rewards us if we accept challenges that he faces us with. He challenged me with a mountain, or some of a mountain, and I was rewarded with sights that I will never forget. I am going to do my best to apply this to my life, that maybe the challenges in front of us are just Gods way of answering our prayers and testing us. Well todays test was worth it, and I believe tomorrows will be too.

Sodas, Elephants, and Colors....What are We Thinking?

2008-06-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

Okay this is an incredibly broad subject to write about so if I go off on any tangents, which I plan to, I hope that you enjoy them. The other night I was standing in line for the cash register at my local blockbuster at the corner of Legacy and Lebanon...it's my usual spot. Getting bored I proceeded to people watch. (You know you do this as well) There was a little girl begging her mom for a soda from the new cafe area at the blockbuster. I kinda did one of those corny laughs when she got denied by her mom, you know that laugh that says I've been there. She returned the soda to it's original location in the fridge and started walking around trying to entertain herself. At that moment I wondered what it was that she was thinking. That led to the thought of what do people think when they are not thinking. (Now thats deep) We have all wondered this occasionally, especially when some smart butt comes up to you and tells you to think about anything except for elephants. No matter how hard you try elephants are glued into your mind until you laugh at the joke. I hate that joke but its clever. But what is it that we think when we are not thinking? Well I guess that we are always thinking just sometimes unintentionally. Now take a minute and try not to think...........stop trying it is impossible and you will drive yourself crazy. We dream when we sleep, we phase out during class, and we think about the meaning of life...the point is we are always thinking. At this very moment I am thinking about what I am going to type, that thought is turned into an action as my brain sends signals to my fingers and eyes as I type the letters on my keypad. That sentence was pre-meditated as I drove down legacy on my way home from blockbuster. It is fascinating really, I mean back during the Roman times people were known and honored for just thinking. Crap they were called the great thinkers. I get bored when I just sit and think...and all they did was think. The word think is being heavily overused in this blog and I apologize but it is necessary when writing about thinking itself. Even now as I type I am realizing how pointless of a blog this is. To write about thinking is to write about...well I don't know but it is such a broad subject yet so fascinating that I love it. How does the disgusting, gooey, nasty, freaky think inside our skull do this? Think that is. To all Darwinists and Evolutionists...explain that to me. I know that doctors have some idea of why we have dreams and how they are created yadayadayada and I will more than likely google it in the next few minutes and be humored for hours as I learn all about the human psyche and how our brains work. Or I will simply roll over and go to bed, but the time for that decision will come and it is not now. Im gonna sound like a total loony right here but I have decided that I am okay with that, your opinion is your own and I will not argue with it. Sometimes I try to think things into reality, in an imaginative sort though. I close my eyes, and please tell me you see colors too, and I try to imagine red, green, blue, yellow, whatever colors there are. Most of the time the color that I think will show up in my view as my eyes are rolled up in my head. It is so awesome, hmph but I am not weird or anything I am curious. (Famous last words) So please let this blog encourage you to think about what it is that you are thinking when you are not really thinking while you annoy yourself endlessly with this never ending thought. But first wrap your head around that sentence and try to understand it because I think I lost myself after using the word think...good luck.

Challenging the Challenge

2008-05-31T17:40:00.000-07:00

There is a road that we all follow, a road that stares us down and challenges us every day. No Wendy it is not the yellow brick road, it is not Dallas PKWY, it is the road that God has laid down for us to follow that leads us to him. Eventually most of us will lose hope that it is actually possible to make it through all the temptations alive. Fortunately there is hope, and it is everywhere. I have found it in the form of Patrick, Katy, and Erin a.k.a. my brother and sisters. I watch them everyday and realize that if they can make it then I can make it. They encourage me, the example they have set for me to follow. I am so proud to have them as family. (They are very lucky to have me as a brother) They give me a reason to fight temptation and to challenge the challenge that faces all of us. I want to be like all 3 of them. I've seen the adults that they have all become (Erin is still immature) and there is nothing about any of them that I want to change. I have 1 more year until college and I have been told by many grown ups that college is the year that all good kids break out and go crazy. I don't want to be that kid, I want to hold strong convictions like Patrick, be creative like Katy, be hilarious like Erin, and be as great as all 3 of them. I find encouragement in everything they have become and find hope that it is actually possible to follow the road that God has set down before us.

I love you Erin Katy and Patrick!

Imperfections in our reflections

2008-05-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

What is the first thing, I'm talking first thing that you think of when you see yourself in the mirror? More than likely you think of what it is that you don't like about yourself. I do this all the time and I realized it just the other day. Its honestly horrible the way we think of ourselves. I look in the mirror and think, "Agh crunches, I NEED CRUNCHES! Must loose bellyfat!" Atleast I used to do that. Lately I have been thinking of the good things I see in my reflection. The weight I've lost and the sexiness that I have gained for instance (WInk Wink) Ever since I started thinking positively about my reflection I have seen myself and been proud. I have gained so much more self esteem and am so much happier with where I am in my life. Honestly everyone should try it. Who knows, maybe seeing perfection in you're reflection will bring world peace!

I actually posted this a few days ago but then realized that I posted it on the wrong blog, that of which you (The Public) have not seen....so sorry for the delay in posts, my noggin is getting a little old on me. Doesn't create ideas like it used to ya know.

I See It Shining With My Eyes Closed

2008-04-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

A lot of highs chool, especially after sophomore year is talk and planning for your future. You hear the word future many times actually and you learn to loathe the word. Everyone asks you about the college that you plan to attend and the job you wish to attain after college. I sit and watch others around me freaking out about their futures, acting as if college graduation is tomorrow. It is not necessarily a bad thing but I feel like I am a laid back person and it can get to me when people freak out about things that are so far away. I ache for those people and only wish that there is something that I can do to change their perspective. The only thing that ever comes to mind is something my pastor told our church. My pastor told me to have faith in the little things and that is exactly what I am trying to do, everyday of my life. I always see people looking at the big things first and freaking out about them. It is like a puzzle I guess. Some people pick random pieces and attempt to put them together unsystematically. The smart people arrange the puzzles according to color and then begin to build the border of edge pieces around the puzzle and continue to systematically put the puzzle together. People need to have faith in the little things and calmly build their lives. The big picture has an uncanny ability to panic people so sometimes, actually most of the time it is best to approach the big picture in small bits as you build towards your ultimate goal. We need to be excited about our future. If we go through a life of panic and anxiety about our future then panic and anxiety will become the only familiarity that we have of our future. We will not embrace it, we will panic and likely never feel as though we are finished building our future. We have our lives, I am breathing, and until I stop I plan to live my life. I do not plan on panicking about my future, that is a waste of time and energy. We have been blessed with a short precious period of time on earth to serve God and I hope that I can look back on my life thinking wow that was fun. As for now I keep on walking towards my seemingly bright and glowing future.

This is it, can you hear me?

2008-03-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

On the way home, these thoughts were floating in my head.

It is like seeing the world through different eyes. As if you suddenly open your eyes in to the world that you thought you were already seeing with them closed. We are seeing the world that we don't want to see. The world that terrifies and challenges us. Not the Utopia that we were dreaming of. Now that we have opened our eyes, we have to walk the world and push through the challenges, annoyances, and struggles. You sometimes see people differently. You start to look for there motives that are behind what they do every second of every day. You see the people who are sad just to be sad. To attract attention. To be noticed. It is almost frustrating to see that. Sadly I have felt like that. You are going through the day and you just decide to be sad when there is really nothing to be sad about. You then concentrate on that feeling and amplify it so that it shows. You want other people to see what you are feeling. You sit there and tell yourself, "I just want someone to care." HOW SELFISH ARE WE?! I just want someone to care? We are surrounded by people who care. Whenever I feel like this I just tell myself to shut up and get over it. It has honestly become a comical thing to me, mostly because I have done this many times myself. You are in this mode of sadness that you have created and all you can think about is, "I just want someone to care, I just want someone to ask what's wrong." You keep thinking about that and then someone asks you what is wrong. You freeze and suddenly realize that you don't want the thing you wanted so bad a split second ago. So you close up and become happy again as you answer, "nothing." It's like sticking your hand out praying for someone to grab it and pull you up and when someone actually reaches out to you, you pull your hand back and say never mind...I think I'm okay. It's like we are terrified to show that we are vulnerable, or maybe what it is that we are vulnerable to. I think we do that to God as well. We sit here cursing the heavens, screaming at God asking him, "Why me God?! Why me?! Why?! Suddenly he answers, he reaches down to help us as he says, "I'm here for you." Then we tell him that we actually don't need his help, we got this. Yet again, just so that you guys don't sit there thinking that I do not know what I am talking about, I have done all of this. It's honestly a waste of time and energy. Taking a perfect day and destroying it because you want people who already care, to care. Are we all that emotionally needy? When people aren't talking to us as much as others in a group, does it really mean that they hate us? Does it mean that we are un-liked, nobody cares? No....thats stupid. But I think that we do crave attention, some more than others, but honestly I believe that we all do. In many different ways at least. Some want fame, some want pity, and some just want plain old attention. I think it is hilarious how we can be like that. How God created us with such a desire that we will hurt ourselves, put ourselves down just for people to turn and look. What if instead we do something to make people proud of us. It honestly, and you can try this and see for yourself, feels so much better to hear, "I am proud of you", instead of hearing, "I feel sorry for you". It really does. We can't take pride in something bad that has happened to us but we can take pride in something good that we made happen in the world.

Back to School

2008-01-07T19:53:00.000-08:00

I hate it...I mean break was great, right up until the point that it ended. School though, ugh, it felt so great to be out of it. School is a necessary evil I supose.

Don't take life to seriously

2008-01-05T14:34:00.000-08:00

you'll never make it through alive.

The Darkness That Envelops Us

2007-12-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to throw this out there in recognition of my genious, but that title is fantastic. I'm really happy with it. Well anyway...onto the point. I was out chasing one of our family dogs, Lady, around the yard tonight in order to provide my sleep deprived parents with a few hours of extra sleep. You see, Lady is an outdoorsy dog, she loves being outside and loves the cold weather almost as much. When it gets cold outside, she decides that maybe it would be enjoyable to stay outside all night...my parents disagree. She barks, alot...which leads to Max barking, which leads to my parents not sleeping. This effects me in the way that when my parents don't sleep, they become grouchy and angry people...and therefore don't give me the care, love, and affection that I require from day to day. (I'm totally joking, my parents are great and are rarely grouchy) So anyway where was I? Me chasing Lady around in the dark...cold...fun...okay I'm back. As I was running around the yard chasing after a dog that is immensely faster than I am, I heard coyotes from over the berm and I thought to myself how cool it would be to go and find them. So me and my little mag-light journeyed over the berm and into an even darker area. As I was looking around, it hit me, its dark...scary...and so many movies have similar situations of somebody alone in the dark...I did not want to be that person. I'll add that it was quiet, too quiet. I quickly addressed the situation and turned on music from my phone. (Additional thanks to the shins for providing comfort in my time of need) As I stood there...alone in the dark...in the cold...nothing making a sound except for my phone...I had a deep convorsation with myself. Why are we afraid of the dark? What is it about this simple "absence of light" that can make a person afraid beyond measure? I came to the conclusion that it scares me because I can't see anything. The darkness seems infinite. Anything could be lurking in the darkness and I would not be able to see it. Darkness makes people feel alone, silence only adds to it. We become more aware of ourselves and everything around us. This extra attentiveness seems to make our imaginations run wild! What would sound like a tree any other time, may sound like a person creeping up behind us when we are in darkness. I heard a creaking sound behind me and I whipped around with my flashlight only to be staring at a tree...luckily I saw it before it got me! Those trees get sneakier everyday. Honestly though, I think it comes down to the lack of knowledge, the lack of the comfort of fact. We do NOT know what we cannot see. We do NOT know that nothing is out there, but simply linger on the hope that there is nothing out there. In the modern world, we as humans are terrified of lack of knowledge. We think Iran wants to use nuclear weapons against us but we do not know. We think that there is a terrorist attack planned but we do not know. We think that the stock market is going to plummet but we do not know. We think that our friend is lying to us but we do not know. That terrifies us! We are so needy! We need to know these things for our own comfort and will sometimes do absolutely anything for comfort and just so that we can sleep at night. I'm not saying that I don't do this, lack of knowledge does scare me. I recognize that. We can't let this lack of knowledge own our lives. We can't fear the darkness that envelops us.

Thats What She Said

2007-11-27T19:12:00.001-08:00

Enjoy this, I couldn't stop laughing!

The Landscape of a Madmans Mind

2007-11-26T19:39:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt like everyone is crazy except for you, or atleast that you yourself are the crazy one and everyone around you is normal? Is the world out to get you? Is the television really a tool used by the government to control the minds of the masses? Is it a conspiracy...man? I've had those off days myself. If you have this daily...then you just have an off life. (please seek help) Where nothing goes right, it's just not my day. Not as in its not a bad day though...I mean some bad days can be spoken of in the same sense but thats not what I am talking about here. I mean those days where you are just out of it...like this year I have developed a "bubble" that I live in where someone will be talking to me and I will totally miss it. I am not sure why this is but I can't help it...and I dont like it. I'm trying to pop this mental "bubble" that I have come to obtain, so please let the madman do his work. Honelstly I think this "bubble" is, oh whats the word, generic? I hope thats the word. My parents do the same thing. Dad...Dad...DAD...DAD!...BILL!...yes andrew? My mom does the same thing, and it just so happens that yours truly does it. It is just starting to get noticably bad this year...maybe because I'm always tired...which is also just starting this year. I think I know the answer...I'm getting old...17 is not 16 or 15 my friends. Arthritis and backpains are my worst enemies while aleve and metamucil are my best friends. Those dang kids are always on my lawn, and I don't really enjoy looking at boxers hanging out of boys pants. Oh how I fear what the future holds once these terrors we call "the youth" take over. 17 is awful...not really. It's great. R movies...which I dont really go see alot actually. Later curfew...by the state's law that is...not by my parents so that does alot. Well, 17 is just a bigger number. I have really side-tracked...there it is...the bubble is back. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. So those of you who are reading this...I suggest you turn back now and just stop reading. Leave me your lovely little comment and be on your way. This is for your own good because I have officially lost my train of thought...the rest of this post will be me just ranting on and on about some crap that nobody cares about (including myself) Or maybe...keep reading...I'll just start on a new subject!

Yes a fresh paragraph, this is nice. On sunday I attended a new church...well not new but one that I had not been to before. It's called Celebration Covenant Church, or CCC. It is great! The band is incredible, the music is fun, the pastor is awesome. The youth group they have sunday night is really cool. And I find myself enjoying church, not thinking about when this will end but I find myself thinking about what it is the pastor will say next. Personally, I think of that as a good thing! So new churh is great, my "bubble" won't leave, and it's cold outside...life is great!

Late

2007-11-11T12:21:00.000-08:00

This blog is late, its been over a month since my last entry. People are late sometimes, I was late to something yesterday. It's actualy really funny how you act when you are late. Okay so you're driving to whatever you are late to...if you think about it you actually get mad at everything and everyone. "C'mon the speed limit it 60 and your only going 80, hurry it up!" Rediculous stuff like that makes you mad. I laughed at myself yesterday because I was getting mad at someone for going to slow when they were actually speeding. When you are late, everything just moves to slow. The lights are "longer than usual", there are always to many stopsigns, and pretty much everybody is out to get you and make you even more late. So chill, just don't be late!

This part of my life...

2007-10-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

This part of my life is called breathing...
Sometimes I can feel stifled by the events in my life. 7 am football practice can get depressing, feeling tired all the time get's old, and the lingering thought of what is coming up around the corner is overstaying it's welcome. I eagerly await that day that is coming when I'll be able to get a breath or two while I have nothing that I need to do or worry about. I do get those days every now and then but they are not because I have nothing to do or worry about, I have something to look forward to or be happy about! I'm reviving relationships that are very near and dear to me, I'm creating new friendships, and I'm maturing mentally. All that and of course, my inhaler <3 are keeping me breathing. (Whoever invented albuterol is my hero) I'm proud of what I've made of myself and the person that I am growing up to be. God has blessed me with a great life, friends, and family. My parents are always there for me, my sisters Katy and Erin always got my back, and Patrick is always there to cheer me on. I'm just living my life, and ya it can get tough and challenging, but then again I guess you could call that living. So with two puffs from my inhaler I'm going to continue breathing. I'll get through this. I'm looking forward to what challenges appear to me next because I know that I can triumph. I'm still here, breathing, and I plan to be for a long time.

Two Days...

2007-09-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

Alright In two days...this wednsday...September 19, 2007...the whole universe will be in celebration! Why? Its my birthday! I'm turning 17 in two days and I can't wait! Gee, and I thought that 16 was a big number...17 is just huge! The only real freedom that I get from being 17 is R movies...whoopee? Ya cause I'm totally alowed to see them...*sarcasm*. Okay so yes I am so excited about turning 17! Jordy is making me this amazing cake...I can't really spell it but its delicious, and I get presents! But here is the wierd part...I have no idea what I want, it's just one of those times where I don't really want anything all that bad. Maybe a laptop or something...that is really what I'm currently shooting for. So ya...that's my week.

For those of you who read my last blog and were wondering about my ankle, it was just a sprain...it got alot better last week and I played a little bit Friday night. Today I came back to practice and wow it is so sore right now. I'm actually icing it right now! It's a little swollen but I got my doctor coming over tomorrow to work on it some more...just a few kinks that he needs to work out of it. I'll be back...

Beer Me

2007-09-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

I swear...first game on offense that I actually do good in. I have to get injured...I mean i still played with it but i thought that it was just a rolled ankle and now I'm patiently waiting on a call from the doctor to tell me whether or not I broke something. I couldn't walk after the game, and got X-rays Sunday and they said that they would know by this morning, but noooo, the radiologist did not get to my xray so now I have to wait another day. On another note my foot is actually getting worse...its getting more swollen every day and pain is just ya.
On a lighter note, we won the game 49 - 0, total domination. I was so happy, that was so much fun. I could possibly be back by this friday unless something is broken, or God decides otherwise.
People keep asking me who I'm planning on asking to homecoming...and It's one of those things where I think she likes me and I like her but I'm just not sure about how she feels. Its like I can't find a wall to pin it on, I mean I've even had dreams about her so I don't know what I'm gonna do. Besides If my foot is broken or for some stupid reason hasn't healed (it will have been a month) then I'm not sure if I'm gonna go, let alone ask her because if I do go then I probably won't be able to dance with her...ruins her night and my night...defeats the purpose ya know. I just want to find out! God "beer me" patience haha...if you watch "The Office" then you might get that. Well I'm out...lovely painkillers are kicking in and these colored spots are starting to pop up everywhere and I can't seem to catch one!

Waterboy

2007-08-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

So Friday the football team had a scrimmage against Shelton...I didn't get to play because I'm still on the injured roster so I got to play waterboy with Lucas, Blake, and another guy who is also injured. It was fun but I don't know what hurt more, my leg, or not being out there with everyone else. It sucked, bad...I wanted to play. Luckily I have only missed scrimmages, not any season games...so this coming friday, Arlington Oak Ridge better watch out...cause It's gonna be game on. haha. I am incredibly excited for next week...I get to practice again and play friday night...oyea...forgot...school...crap. I lied, I'm not so incredibly excited...I'll stick with excited. School can wait...forever?

The Jersey Comes With A Price

2007-08-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

What I mean by "The Jersey Comes With A Price" is that when I get that football jersey, I automatically accept that injuries and pain are in my future. I got a head start on injuries...my first full pads practice went awesome, I did great in 1 on 1's and had fun at the same time...that is until tackling drills...My first tackle I hit the guy then we both fall over and I fall akwardly and then pop goes my groin...if thats how you spell it. I fought through it for the rest of the day, went home and healed up, then today I came back ready to give it a go. We were doing blocking drills and I fired off, went through the chutes and nailed the guy but yet again I re-injured it and this time i really felt it...I got up and tried to walk but it gave out and I went down again. The chiroptractor doctor dude said that Im out for a week, but since there is a scrimmage on friday, I told him that I need to be back by then so he said that he could do it...but it wouldnt feel good. So yea, there ya go...no bueno...

Trial By Fire

2007-08-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

I always thought that this would be a cool title for a blog but I never thought that I would use it...I lucked out! And this is a picture of Logan getting layed out by Austin "Ambush" Choate in practice.

So anyway, I started football this week on wendsday, no pads and no helmet...thursday I got my helmet and practiced with it...Friday was pictures and a walk through before our scrimmage that night...so basically...the scrimmage would be my first game/practice with full pads and full contact...trial by fire...awesome! I was nervous at first but when it started I got pumped and I could not wait to get in there and punish some people...but the weather had a different plan...
Basically the scrimmage format was each team switches off offense/defense every 15 plays...we planned on doing this 3 times. My line coach looked at me on our second round where I was supposed to play and said don't worry, you gonna get some! And a few plays later...right before I was gonna get in, they called it because of lightening...I was soo angry, still am actually...I described the anger and frustration as sitting in front of an incredible steak filet from 3 forks and someone telling you that you can't eat it till they tell you, but then the cook comes out and says that all the steaks were infected with something and that you can't eat them...ya, it sucked. So now I get to have a full week of full contact practice before our next scrimmage which is this upcoming Friday against Shelton...I think...but anyway...the pain train is comin to town!

Oyea and here is a side note...
My coach calls me Orlando...only him, the rest call me AO like everyone else...I think its tight but I gotta get used to it. Orlando...niiice.

On Another Note

2007-08-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

Balance is a critical part in a persons life...without balance...their life is hectic and chaotic...not fun basically. I'm mostly addressing a persons balanced personality. I mean that in the way that there are 3 personalities...
"The Nice Guy" - Hates hurting people, people pleaser, well liked, and sometimes can become the "Way Too Nice Guy", please try to avoid that one because people can identify that personality and take advantage of it. You hate hurting people and thats fine but you also gotta look out for yourself.
"The Jerk" - "Tolerates" people, feared by others more than liked by them, doesn't care about anybody other than #1, also respected can be considered a synonym for feared in this situation, hurts people, and is generally unliked. You get the Idea.
"The Man" - Nice to everyone, which includes tolerating some, generally liked, respected in a great way, balanced personality between "The Nice Guy" and "The Jerk" and knows which one would work best in any given situation (Let's face it, a little tough love is sometimes needed), and is not taken advantage of but is insted respected for ability to stand on their own and still have enough strength to help anyone else onto their feet.

If you can find the perfect balance, like "The Man", you are doing great. You can influence people in such great ways, you can make a difference. Sometimes everyone can use a personality check...can you? (haha I had to put "Can You?" in there at the end just for my personal benefit because I find it helarious for undeclared reasons, its like a Dr. Phil commercial or something okay people?)

Summer X

2007-08-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

Probably one of the biggest and most fun highlights of my summer would of course have to be the 4 days that I spent with my sister Katy...Or the 4 days I spent with my sister Katy in Los Angeles attending X-Games 13. For those of you who have lived in a cave for your whole life, the X-Games are the olympics, the super bowl, the world series, the stanley cup, the world cup, the masters of extreme sports! That should put it in perspective for you...people! The X-Games are just awesome! My favorite sport would be all of the motocross events including "Best Trick" - Contenders have 2 jumps to blow the judges minds with their trick. "Step Up" - Contenders have a certain distance to start and hit a vertical jump, they must clear a bar at a certain heighth and it is continually raised until all but one remain. "Freestyle" - Probably the biggest X-Games event. Contenders have 1 min. and 30 sec. to do a run on a freestyle course comprised of jumps composed of different distances and metal and dirt ramps and the one with the highest judged score wins. "Supermoto" - Speedbikes mixed with dirtbikes. Dirtbikes are fitted with street tires and have a course that is half asphalt and half dirt. 32 grueling laps over dirt without dirt tires and speeds up to 90 mph. "Motocross" - Similar to supermoto but much shorter, all dirt, more jumps, and closer quarters. Tournament style competition grid with 1 man on top.
So there, X-Games...FACT: They rock and you know it. QUESTION: Can you handle it?
So it wasn't just the actual games that were awesome, Katy and I (notice the proper grammar thankyou) stayed at Le Merigot in Santa Monica...the scenic Santa Monica! It was awesome. We had 2 days where we did not attend X-Games events so we toured and partied! We visited the pier and rode the roller coaster on it. We rented bikes and biked to Venice beach a.k.a. muscle beach (famous for strongman competitions...these people are ripped!). Men in speedoes, homless people begging for marijuana, and innapropriate (but helarious) t-shirts...thats Venice beach! Venice beach is a fun place to people watch and there are many cultures gathered there to well...sell stuff to the poor unexpecting tourists.
On our last day we had a red eye flight so we didn't need to be at the airport till' around 10:30 that night. We went to Hollywood and toured that. Here is a tip...don't go to Rodeo Dr. on a sunday after 6 o'clock...it is a ghost town because all of the shops are closed! Katy and I didn't think about that so around 5:30 we decided that the shops could wait and that we should eat...around 6:30 we realized our mistake and walked around window shopping...ya...Hollywood<3<3 But we did get to see some nice homes and cars in Beverly Hills. After the "Hillz" as I call them...we decided that we had exhausted all of our tourism opportunities and drove to the airport arriving around 9:30? That is a guess...anyway the sucky part was that we were in different terminals, 4 and 7, and her flight left at 11:50 and mine at 12:20...so we got there and I checked in, walked to her terminal...a painful walk (Katy will get that and I'll keep it that way) and waited forever for her to check in. We said our goodbyes and that was it...the journey was over and we were headed home. I arrived home around 6 and I expect that Katy arrived even later...atleast I got to sleep till 2 that afternoon, katy had to go to work. Well if you ever have the opportunity to go to the Summer X-Games...I would highly reccomend it!

This Part of MY Life

2007-07-15T23:21:00.001-07:00

This part of MY Life is called, Survival. I'm a teenager in the wilderness that is made of the world around me. Each day is a fight, some days easier than others, and each day, everyday, I fight my hardest. Those of you who are reading this are probably saying that this is crazy, that I am just another over-dramatized 16 year old. I'm not, I'm just writing about something that I thought would be interesting to many.
So to start off, life is terrifying (If I spelled that right) to me, I'm 16 going on 17, I'm going to be a Junior in Highschool. WOW!! Somebody recently said to me, "Hey, you're turning 17 in a few months aren't you?" That one question *slash* accusation completely grounded me. I'm getting out of that stage where you don't really care about anything. Well you do care about stuff but that stuff settles along the borders of "Should I shower today? What to eat...the hamburger or skittles...or skittles on a hamburger?! (I was always a health-nut)" Well the truth is that I am out of the free and easy stage and now have to keep track of a checking account, take care of my car, school, and the ever so lovely drama that is created during school and amplified into the lives of people who have nothing to do with it and those who simply do not care...(if you could see me, I'm pointing at myself) I think everyone knows about the high-school related drama, and I think, no, I know that everyone would agree that it is STUPID! It is usually centered around just a few people (usually the same ones) and they drag everyone into it...they are hungry for attention. So ya there is the drama to survive, but how do I survive it?

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” - Bill Cosby

I think that in nearly any situation, there is humor to be found, but in some situations it is very well hidden, and in some situations it is better not to look but just let it come to you, looking will make it worse....but like I said, SOME situations. So preach it Cosby...preach it.

Alright now I'm on a roll! I mean college is just around the corner. I'm recieving mail from colleges even. Okay people this is scary...just the other day I was learning of my magical ability to pee outside and now I'm preparing for my last 2 years of highschool...I don't know about you but that is a giant leap...I'm on my way. What am I supposed to do after college? There is the search for a career...girlfriend? wife? living accomidations? I look at my wonderful sister Katy and she hung around in Dallas for a little while, got bored, then moved to Chicago and is now all like fameous and what not. Way to go Katy! I don't think I could leave Texas, it's just to awesome...yes Texas is much better than any state...I guarentee it! We also have the death penalty but anywho...oh don't go saying that I'm a horrible person puhleeeezzzz, don't gimme that...I'm BORN and RAISED here in Texas so shaddup. So in the end of all of this I have come to 2 conclusions and here they are....please back up from the screen, I know your excited but you will damage your eyes. First, Live is not a battle, it is war...and to get through it you have to take it day by day, today's decisions effect tomorrows outcome (ya I got that off of a poster in spanish class...got nothin else to stare at) So live your life and stay calm...you're fine...remember, keep on keepin' on!

Montana!

2007-07-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

Wow, wow, wooooow...I don't know how else to put it, Montana is just...wow! So my adventure started in Missoula, Montana. This town is awesome, and this is where we travel to flyfish. There are 3 main rivers in Missoula, there is the Bitterroot, Blackfoot, and ClarkFork. We fished the Bitterroot and ClarkFork during our 3 days of fishing. We started at the ClarkFork and spent the next two days at the lower Bitterroot and Upper Bitterroot. The first day I caught zero, zilch, nada, no fish! It was my first time with a flyrod and it wasn't easy. The second day I had a good day with 3 trout and 7 squawfish (squawfish are bad and so when you catch them, the guides throw them on shore...they eat trout :() So a total of 10 fish on the second day. And the third...got myself 8 Trout, a few Squaw, and some whitefish totalling the day with 20+ fish! I was very very angry that the flyfishing had to end but glacier national park was calling.
We drove 3 hours and arrived at our rented house near west glacier and found it to be without air conditioning...can I get a yay? Ya didn't think so... Me and katy..."The Singles", were of course stuck in the attic...a very small room with beds that were not only to short...but were maybe a little over a foot wide...or maybe just a foot. Jokingly I said to everyone, "If you hear a loud bang from upstairs...I'm fine, just fell of the bed." So that night me and katy headed up to our rooms and it was pitch black in the attick so of course, I made her go first. We discovered that the lights were not working so we scrambled for our bags while freaking out and yelling it the dark, we located our bags and proceded to stumble our way down the stairs....thus started our adventure in Glacier National Park. Over the next few days we spend our time hiking into beautiful locations, eating huckleberry ice cream, riding a tandem bicycle, and laughing at angry golfers who were struggling on the hole behind the house. Angry golfers are quite amusing, I should know...I am one! So if it is by any chance that you have the means to go to Glacier, I suggest you do so! Trails are yours for the making, adventures are yours for the taking! So what are you waiting for?

Passion

2007-06-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

Susie Switzer:
“There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love.”

Passion drives us is anything and everything we do. If we do not have a passion for it, then we do not have a drive for it. If we have no drive then we are probably not going to be succesful. Like right now, I am lacking the passion to write this blog, I mean its late, I'm kinda tired, and the television is on, but It's been awhile since my last post and I like to look at my new blog picture cause' its, oh how do the kids say it? Bangin?...yea...
Okay so passion....It can be involved in almost any aspect in your life. Relationships, sports, hobbies, jobs, careers, whatever you can think of. I'm passionate about dirtbiking...heck at this very moment I am itching to go ride, but sadly its pitch black outside, its crazy muddy, and sadly my neighboors do not feel the same way about dirtbiking as I do. I mean dirtbiking rocks, how is it that a loud motorcycle would bother the neighboors in the middle of the night? I mean call me crazy but....okay just call me crazy. But whatever your passionate about...keep it up, let your passion drive you, let it comfort you.
One of my favorite examples of passion is the Passion of Jesus Christ. The passion that Jesus had was incredible. The passion is what Christ went through, all of the torture and beatings. So whatever you are passionate it, keep on keepin on. Success and good things will come out of it.

Fear

2007-06-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

Don Miguel Ruiz:
Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.

I think fear is kinda funny, it's like a game that our minds play with us...sometimes with good reason though. If I am afraid to jump off of a cliff without a parachute and anything to save me (basically jumping to my death) then I have good reason to be afraid...my life is at stake! Now here is a silly mind trick that is probably caused by some movie that we saw...we have all done this and probably still do this...we walk into a bathroom and there is a shower in it and we of course have to check behind the curtain to make sure that no psycho is in there about to kill us while we are innocently going to the bathroom. Yes I have done that, heck I did it at my sisters apartment this weekend...I mean that shower curtain looked suspicious...it could have been hiding someone so I had to check...it was for the greater good.

Well the way I see it, fear keeps us alive! Fear keeps us from doing stupid stuff that would kill us while at the same time if we can feel fear then we know that we are alive...there is nothing like the feeling that comes with conquering your fears and doing somethin awesome! Fear is yours to conquer, life is yours for the taking....so what are you waiting for?

Scars

2007-05-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since my last post, so sorry all of you loyal readers...thats about 2 or 3 I believe...I didn't know what I wanted to write about...and today I figured that scars are cool, chicks dig em', and heck...scars are freakin cool! So why are they there? I guess scars appear because you did something stupid, got hurt, and the skin didn't heal right leaving a pretty mark on your skin (I have many scars).
So you do something stupid and get a cut or worse...the flesh doesn't heal right and BADA BING you have a scar...now when you look at the scar you're probably going to think, "I am NOT doing that again." OF COURSE YOU ARE!! I have alot from dirtbiking and look at me, I got a new dirtbike and it put two nice burns on my leg the first day! Those will be some pretty little scars so now everytime I look down and see them I'm like, "When all of the pretty girls see you I'm going to be so wanted...and yes I'm doing that again!" Now if I got a scar from lets say...tripping over a curb then ya I'll tell myself that I am not doing that again...but sadly I doubt that I can go a week without tripping over a curb so usually what you get a scar from...you're gonna do it again!
Some scars are there to serve as reminders of a big even in your life...like my appendectimine scars...they are there to remind me of what I've been through (most of it was a blur but hey...I got painkillers!!). Some of you may of had worse and your scars are to remind you of that. They tell stories of, I fell off my bike when I was 10, or I had heart surgery when I was 27. I think scars are a blessing so...and again they look super cool! So what are you waiting for? Go fall off that bike, go trip over that curb, go pick a fight with that biker guy that is 7 ft. tall and has a "Born to make you wish you weren't" (please tell me that you got that tatoo joke cause its awesome) The memories of scars are yours for the taking, scars are yours for the making! So....again...what are you waiting for?

The Sound of Music

2007-05-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

No I'm not talking about the movie...your kidding me, I was forced by my lower school music teacher Mrs. Kelso to watch that...
What I'm talking about it what music can do to us, what sound does to us. Okay, so your running and you are not listening to music one day and you run 3 miles with some trouble...another day you are listening to faster paced music and you finish your 3 miles with little trouble...what am i getting at? Music can pump you up, music can bring you down, music can get our heart beating.
What is music? Music is a plethera of sounds strung together to create melodies and harmonies.......I think I just fried my brain with that definition (that I came up with by the way)......okay I'm good to go now, where was I? Oh music right.... People all have different tastes in music. Me...I like most anything, but for some reason I have taken a liking to alternative music recently. Like yellowcard and colplay. I enjoy how their songs tell stories or make sense in life. Sometimes I can even relate to a song. And of course I'm a country fan...country is fun to dance to, sing to, its fun!
What does music sound like? Music sounds like anything, music has an unlimited arsenal of instruments that can make it. Guitars, drums, pianos, violins, harmonicas, trumpets, even buckets! Music is opinion...it helps us voice what we normally cannot. We voice what is going on in our heads, what we can't get out. Music defines a culture, music can define a persons, whats the word, personality. I see a person in a cowboy hat and boots and can bet that they like country music. Person dressed in all black, crazy hair, skateboard shoes of some sort...emo music. Don't get me wrong, I like country but I don't dress like it, I accept some emo music but don't dress emo. Music won't completely define a person, it just says a little something about their tastes.
Music is used everywhere. It sets the mood in movies, it yells, "I'm here!" when you hear the 3 subwoofers driving by in a car, it lets us relax, it pumps us up, it makes us sad, it makes us happy, and it can make us spiritual. Music is awesome...without music life would be quiet...too quiet. So turn up your amps, play the drums louder than ever, sing with all you've got, turn up those headphones, turn up the car radio, use every inch of that subwoofer...music is yours for the taking, music is yours for the making...so what are you waiting for?

Cure for the Common Summer

2007-05-13T18:47:00.001-07:00

So here is another cure for the common....
Now that school is down to its last 2 weeks, summer is growing ever so closer. I was thinking about it today and I wondered to myself...what am I going to do everyday? What I talked about in the last cure for the common, the routines, well ya I have a school routine and its going to end. So what am I supposed to do with myself, I am so used to having school take up most of my day...I dont just want to sit around waiting for something to happen...That would make for a boring summer.
I do have trips that I am taking, I'm going to Chicago to visit my sister katy (Love you Katy) and then to Montana to flyfish and go to Glacier National Park, then X-Games in L.A. with katy! Ya that is busy for me, but what do i do in between those trips, thats a lot of gaps to fill...
Hah yes...yes I found it...the cure! I do....whatever...I...want!!! Its summer! 2 months of no school, no hw, nothing! Its freedom basically. So yea friends, the lake, and whatever is my cure. So instead of staring at the kid picking his nose (the one I mentioned in the last cure for the common) I'll be staring at a hott chick...actually she'll be staring at me (because I'm so hott) and I'll be pretending not to notice...yes I know im good.(pause for applause) I'll be riding my dirtbike, I'll be working out, anything to fill the precious time that is summer. It's like being in jail and being let out for 2 months of madness! I'm going to try and make this the best summer of my life...atleast until next summer! So yea, do whatever you want...burn stuff...throw stuff...do anything! (that is legal atleast) So get out there, the summer is yours for the taking...what are you waiting for?

*And at the request of Becky...I had a chinchilla named tucker a few years back. He was awesome. Oh and a chinchilla is like a lil grey animal that looks like a rabit and a...mouse? Ya that works. Anyway, one week he disapeared and we thought my dog at him because he got out of his cage and there were plants and stuff knocked down...we figured cause the dog chased him. He dissapeared and we thought him dead, until one day we heard a sound behind our freezer and I saw his nose! He was alive, tucker was alive! He had been living under the freezer for the whole time! So hears to Tucker! There ya go Becky, your very welcome.

Cure for the Common Summer

2007-05-13T18:47:00.000-07:00

Cure for the Common Routine

2007-05-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

BEEP!BEEEP!BEEEEEP! Ugh...It's 7 o'clock and I'm waking up to the wonderful sound of my alarm going off. I'm downstairs by 7:40 and out the door by 7:50. I get to school by 8:05 and geometry starts at 8:15. Class is out by 9 o'clock and so on and so forth. I do that Mon - Fri, August - May 25th. After doing that for so long, it can get really old and boring. How is there nothing more to my week? School and sleep...thats it? It's called a routine and I'm searching for a cure.
Routine...that is probably one of the biggest words in our lives. We may not use it often in sentences or conversations, but it sure does play a huge part in our lives. We all have our daily routines. For those of you who read this and are shaking your heads saying that you don't relate to this at all, please do me a favor quickfast...slap yourself, punch yourself, and kick yourself in that order because HELLO!! You do have a routine...even if you don't realize it.
School is almost out and I'm ready to start a new routine, one without having an alarm that wakes me up in the morning, no homework, no class schedules. Lets call it...hmm...the "Summer Routine" Your life does not run off of a schedule and the question, "What homework do we have tonight?" Instead the question is, "What do I feel like doing?"
Well anyway back to the reason of this post, the cure for this "Routine" that we are speaking of. Here it is...I DONT KNOW! I wish I did...but I don't. Routines are just there. Maybe you can change it up a bit...maybe this time when you walk to your locker you can trip? Stop at starbucks before school? Instead of staring in disgust at the kid thats pickin his nose and thinks that no one notices, you can stare at the kid that farted and thinks nobody noticed? Something interesting to give yourself something new to do. There is no cure for the commone routine, the only thing you can do is change your routine up a bit every days, weeks, months...whatever floats your boat. I have come to new conclusions as I have written this...now this is deep and I dont know if you small minded people can handle this...the cure for the common routine is a new routine...wow...give yourself a second to take a nap or something cause that was deep! I guess that a new routine is not a cure, but its a quick fix that will last for a little while, atleast until that routine gets old...well whatever you do, get yourself out of the year old routine and start a new one, believe me, its for the best.

*Note to the kid that farted in class and thinks no one noticed*
Everyone heard it...

*You know, I might just make a "Cure for the Common..." series on my blog, this could be the start of something cool...

One of those weeks

2007-05-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

We have all had those weeks...those weeks where the world throws everything its got at you...the next day comes and its back at you with a full clip. You take it and you take it day after day looking forward while every hit you take slowly wears you down. The world throws little things to trip you or make you fall, blind you and or confuse you.
"It's like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking theres one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down through the air and theres a sickly moment of dark surprise..." ~ Lemony Snicket
Or maybe your having a great day but one simple thought looms in the back of your mind...head spinning you take on every second of every minute of every hour of the day, with the world telling you, "give up," while that one bit of hope whispers, "Try it one more time." We all have our own chains that we need to break...dont give up...each day will go on and the next will ALWAYS come. Giving up...its not an option.
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"He conquers who endures." ~ Persius
"Never, never, never, never give up." ~ Winston Churchill
"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it." ~ Michael Jordan
“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.” ~ Douglas MacArthur
“I'm trying as hard as I can, and sometimes things don't go your way, and that's the way things go.” ~ Tiger Woods
Just be strong, believe, tomorrow will come, the sun will rise, a new day is born and what will you do with it? Greatness is yours for the taking, so what are you waiting for?

Dierks Bentley Rules

2007-04-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

Country Roads, old theatre marquee signs;Parkin' lots, and billboards flyin' by.Spanish mosques, little hick town squares;Wild roses on a river bank: girl its almost like you're there
Oh, every mile, a memory; every song, another scene,From some old movie going back in time you and me.Every day, a page turned down; every night, a lonesome sound,Like a freight train rollin' through my dreams:Every mile, a memory.
Red sun down, out across the western sky,Takes me back to the fire in your eyes.Texas stars in a purple night.Not seein' 'em with you baby: oh, they never do it right, no.
Every mile, a memory; every song, another scene,From some old movie going back in time you and me.Every day, a page turned down; every night, a lonesome sound,Like a freight train rollin' through my dreams:Every mile, a memory.
Funny how no matter where I run,Round every bend I only see,Just how far I haven't come.Every mile, a memory; every song, another scene,From some old movie going back in time you and me.Every day, a page turned down; every night, a lonesome sound,Like a freight train rollin' through my dreams:Every mile, a memory;Every mile, a memory;Every mile, a memory.

Find the missing link...check!

2007-04-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

What could be better than dinner with some of your friends at olive garden...dinner with some of your friends at olive garden with a deerman waiting the table next you! Yes its true... we have found the missing link! Actually it was just a waiter that we came up with the great idea that he looked like a deer... so we made jokes about him for the rest of the night! Sounds harsh but it was funny :)
So prom is coming up this saturday, I must say that I am very excited! Not only is prom amazing because hey! its prom! But it also signals that the schoolyear is coming to a close! Summer is coming up and coming up fast, scary! What is so scary? I'm going to be a junior! That means looking for colleges, selecting colleges, family making fun of you for choosing sed colleges, and then summer again. I mean common...I'm almost 17, and I'm just getting used to being 16! Well I still have the summer to survive first, and I cant wait!

Songs...Dances...Chipotle?

2007-04-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

So after school today, I took the three fish's to Sonic! Patricia, Sarah, Amanda, and I then went over to Patricias house. We even formed and new gang, "The Wall Gang" cuz we hung out on a wall by her house, ya we're cool. Then we just ran around the neighborhood and did whatever. I ran home and changed, then the storms came in. My mother finally let me drive back to Patricias and, for the most part, I watched them do old songs that they had made up, and they even danced a little bit too. So ya thats how I roll. Then the time came, Chipotle was calling! I drove everyone out to Chipotle. I was considered the hero because I was able to finish a burrito? Well, atleast I can do something thats impressive, even if it is eating a giant mexican burrito...yes its delicous. After that we came back to Patricias house and watched "Without a Paddle." It was quite a funny movie and I enjoyed every minute of it. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Spiritual Emphasis Week

2007-04-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

Today was the start of spiritual emphasis week. Its the week before easter. At school we have chapel everyday instead of just thursdays which is a gooood thing because then I have a much shorter history class instead of the usual 45 minutes!!! Not that I don't like history...I don't like history. We also have friday off woohoo. So I may take my dirtbike up to Farmersville and do some riding! I hope that I get too. My sister Katy also comes in from Chicago this weekend and I CAN'T wait to see her! She pretty much rooocks.

A Sunny Weekend

2007-04-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend was exceptionally great! Friday was pretty much a blow off day at school because all the teachers were observing at other schools and we played games in the gym and stuff. It got pretty wild. Saturday I was home alone because my parents had gone to the lake so I washed my moms car and got our pavilion ready for a college basketball game party deally. Then I went and played 9 holes of golf! They weren't great though. Then today I woke up at like 1230 and went and ate at the most amazing restaraunt ever...chipotle!!! Then I played another 9 with my dad and I did alot better, psh I got 20 bucks outta it! haha. I also got to see my Prom date alot. I went to her house last night and it was alot of fun, Patricia and our friend amanda just sat outside by the fire and talked...I loved every minute of it. Well a new week of school starts tomorrow, yay school.

Greatest Day Ever?

2007-03-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

Today was the GREATEST DAY EVER...or atleast top 10. It started out being great because I was given the OKAY by Dr. West (My surgeon) to play in the District Golf Tournament. This would be my first golf season of the year. Late tuesday afternoon the golf team began the long haul into Tyler and we stayed at a West Inn. Waking up early, we head to Macdonalds (My dads choice breakfast joint) and then headed to the golf course. I had a great day...so did the rest of the team. I shot a 108, as did another team mate of mine, to tie us for 6th over all. That was a big accomplishment and I didn't think the day could get better...but it did. We found out that our golf team was also crowned district champs! An even bigger accomplishment! I didn't think the day could get better...but it did. After I got home I went to the mall to spend some gift cards...after that I headed over to my "hangout" Oakley (I'm on a first name basis with the manager and went to school with another employee). I got a $230 pair of sunglasses for $50. The guy I went to school with gave me an employee discount of 75%. I didn't think the day could get better...but yet again...it did. I asked about Oakley sponsorships and my friend told me to call Oakley and almost guarenteed me a sponsorship!! That means 50% off on all oakley products! Ya I'm an oakley freak...so now I have to make up a Golf resume and send it into Oakley. I didn't think the day could get better...and it didn't really but it remained one of the greatest days ever!

Fun at school? What is the world coming too?

2007-03-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, school was pretty fun today. First Rob flipped his desk in a new sport we call desk racing! Basically you scoot your desk really far back and then you say go and you and another friend try to reach a point before the other. Oya, it can get pretty intense. Then our senior mentors took us to lunch and we stayed way longer then we were supposed to and missed a period! Then the day kinda slowed down afterwords. Still, thats alot of fun at school...its school...how can you have fun? Anyway, what lies ahead of me this week all relies on the gaping wound I have in my stomach, a.k.a. the little hole. I have a post op check up tomorrow and I need his okay to play in wednsdays district golf tourney, the last tourney of the year unless you make it to state. If I can't play then I missed out on the whole golf season, not cool. Well, thats all I really have right now... Andrew out

To Hell and Back

2007-03-24T00:17:00.000-07:00

Finally, the first week back is done. It was a very tiring week, possible one of the most tough weeks that I have ever had to endure. After 5 1/2 months of dating, me and my girlfriend broke up. I hated it, but it needed to happen (I wont go into furter details). On the bright side, I am making headway in my recovery from my appendectimy and I am becoming myself again. I spent my Friday night with an old friend who graduated last year, she is basically my sister. We tried to go to an R movie (With my parents permission of course) but she isnt old enough to by my ticket so that didnt happen. We ended up going over to another friends house and watched a movie. It was a great friday night and I'm hoping that this weekend will only get better. *Thank you everybody for helping me and encouraging me, I thank God for you guys everyday.

D-day

2007-03-19T15:33:00.000-07:00

Spring break is over and today was the first day back at school. For me it was the first full day back in about a month due to my surgeries. It was good to be back, but you'd think that some of the teachers would have felt the same and would have been in better moods. Some actually were, but the teachers who were still themselves were the ones that we expected to be (I wont mention names). School is now in its last quarter and the end is in sight, oh summer please hurry.

The First of Many

2007-03-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hey I'm Andrew and thats all there really is to it. I love to be crazy with my family. I have one brother and two sisters, also with a side of two nephews. I love to dirtbike, play golf, and hang out with my friends. I got into this blog because of my sister and I'm expecting this post to be the first of many.