The Darkness That Envelops Us

I'm just going to throw this out there in recognition of my genious, but that title is fantastic. I'm really happy with it. Well anyway...onto the point. I was out chasing one of our family dogs, Lady, around the yard tonight in order to provide my sleep deprived parents with a few hours of extra sleep. You see, Lady is an outdoorsy dog, she loves being outside and loves the cold weather almost as much. When it gets cold outside, she decides that maybe it would be enjoyable to stay outside all night...my parents disagree. She barks, alot...which leads to Max barking, which leads to my parents not sleeping. This effects me in the way that when my parents don't sleep, they become grouchy and angry people...and therefore don't give me the care, love, and affection that I require from day to day. (I'm totally joking, my parents are great and are rarely grouchy) So anyway where was I? Me chasing Lady around in the dark...cold...fun...okay I'm back. As I was running around the yard chasing after a dog that is immensely faster than I am, I heard coyotes from over the berm and I thought to myself how cool it would be to go and find them. So me and my little mag-light journeyed over the berm and into an even darker area. As I was looking around, it hit me, its dark...scary...and so many movies have similar situations of somebody alone in the dark...I did not want to be that person. I'll add that it was quiet, too quiet. I quickly addressed the situation and turned on music from my phone. (Additional thanks to the shins for providing comfort in my time of need) As I stood there...alone in the dark...in the cold...nothing making a sound except for my phone...I had a deep convorsation with myself. Why are we afraid of the dark? What is it about this simple "absence of light" that can make a person afraid beyond measure? I came to the conclusion that it scares me because I can't see anything. The darkness seems infinite. Anything could be lurking in the darkness and I would not be able to see it. Darkness makes people feel alone, silence only adds to it. We become more aware of ourselves and everything around us. This extra attentiveness seems to make our imaginations run wild! What would sound like a tree any other time, may sound like a person creeping up behind us when we are in darkness. I heard a creaking sound behind me and I whipped around with my flashlight only to be staring at a tree...luckily I saw it before it got me! Those trees get sneakier everyday. Honestly though, I think it comes down to the lack of knowledge, the lack of the comfort of fact. We do NOT know what we cannot see. We do NOT know that nothing is out there, but simply linger on the hope that there is nothing out there. In the modern world, we as humans are terrified of lack of knowledge. We think Iran wants to use nuclear weapons against us but we do not know. We think that there is a terrorist attack planned but we do not know. We think that the stock market is going to plummet but we do not know. We think that our friend is lying to us but we do not know. That terrifies us! We are so needy! We need to know these things for our own comfort and will sometimes do absolutely anything for comfort and just so that we can sleep at night. I'm not saying that I don't do this, lack of knowledge does scare me. I recognize that. We can't let this lack of knowledge own our lives. We can't fear the darkness that envelops us.

Thats What She Said

Enjoy this, I couldn't stop laughing!

The Landscape of a Madmans Mind

Have you ever felt like everyone is crazy except for you, or atleast that you yourself are the crazy one and everyone around you is normal? Is the world out to get you? Is the television really a tool used by the government to control the minds of the masses? Is it a conspiracy...man? I've had those off days myself. If you have this daily...then you just have an off life. (please seek help) Where nothing goes right, it's just not my day. Not as in its not a bad day though...I mean some bad days can be spoken of in the same sense but thats not what I am talking about here. I mean those days where you are just out of it...like this year I have developed a "bubble" that I live in where someone will be talking to me and I will totally miss it. I am not sure why this is but I can't help it...and I dont like it. I'm trying to pop this mental "bubble" that I have come to obtain, so please let the madman do his work. Honelstly I think this "bubble" is, oh whats the word, generic? I hope thats the word. My parents do the same thing. Dad...Dad...DAD...DAD!...BILL!...yes andrew? My mom does the same thing, and it just so happens that yours truly does it. It is just starting to get noticably bad this year...maybe because I'm always tired...which is also just starting this year. I think I know the answer...I'm getting old...17 is not 16 or 15 my friends. Arthritis and backpains are my worst enemies while aleve and metamucil are my best friends. Those dang kids are always on my lawn, and I don't really enjoy looking at boxers hanging out of boys pants. Oh how I fear what the future holds once these terrors we call "the youth" take over. 17 is awful...not really. It's great. R movies...which I dont really go see alot actually. Later curfew...by the state's law that is...not by my parents so that does alot. Well, 17 is just a bigger number. I have really side-tracked...there it is...the bubble is back. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. So those of you who are reading this...I suggest you turn back now and just stop reading. Leave me your lovely little comment and be on your way. This is for your own good because I have officially lost my train of thought...the rest of this post will be me just ranting on and on about some crap that nobody cares about (including myself) Or maybe...keep reading...I'll just start on a new subject!

Yes a fresh paragraph, this is nice. On sunday I attended a new church...well not new but one that I had not been to before. It's called Celebration Covenant Church, or CCC. It is great! The band is incredible, the music is fun, the pastor is awesome. The youth group they have sunday night is really cool. And I find myself enjoying church, not thinking about when this will end but I find myself thinking about what it is the pastor will say next. Personally, I think of that as a good thing! So new churh is great, my "bubble" won't leave, and it's cold outside...life is great!

Late

This blog is late, its been over a month since my last entry. People are late sometimes, I was late to something yesterday. It's actualy really funny how you act when you are late. Okay so you're driving to whatever you are late to...if you think about it you actually get mad at everything and everyone. "C'mon the speed limit it 60 and your only going 80, hurry it up!" Rediculous stuff like that makes you mad. I laughed at myself yesterday because I was getting mad at someone for going to slow when they were actually speeding. When you are late, everything just moves to slow. The lights are "longer than usual", there are always to many stopsigns, and pretty much everybody is out to get you and make you even more late. So chill, just don't be late!

This part of my life...

This part of my life is called breathing...
Sometimes I can feel stifled by the events in my life. 7 am football practice can get depressing, feeling tired all the time get's old, and the lingering thought of what is coming up around the corner is overstaying it's welcome. I eagerly await that day that is coming when I'll be able to get a breath or two while I have nothing that I need to do or worry about. I do get those days every now and then but they are not because I have nothing to do or worry about, I have something to look forward to or be happy about! I'm reviving relationships that are very near and dear to me, I'm creating new friendships, and I'm maturing mentally. All that and of course, my inhaler <3 are keeping me breathing. (Whoever invented albuterol is my hero) I'm proud of what I've made of myself and the person that I am growing up to be. God has blessed me with a great life, friends, and family. My parents are always there for me, my sisters Katy and Erin always got my back, and Patrick is always there to cheer me on. I'm just living my life, and ya it can get tough and challenging, but then again I guess you could call that living. So with two puffs from my inhaler I'm going to continue breathing. I'll get through this. I'm looking forward to what challenges appear to me next because I know that I can triumph. I'm still here, breathing, and I plan to be for a long time.

Two Days...

Alright In two days...this wednsday...September 19, 2007...the whole universe will be in celebration! Why? Its my birthday! I'm turning 17 in two days and I can't wait! Gee, and I thought that 16 was a big number...17 is just huge! The only real freedom that I get from being 17 is R movies...whoopee? Ya cause I'm totally alowed to see them...*sarcasm*. Okay so yes I am so excited about turning 17! Jordy is making me this amazing cake...I can't really spell it but its delicious, and I get presents! But here is the wierd part...I have no idea what I want, it's just one of those times where I don't really want anything all that bad. Maybe a laptop or something...that is really what I'm currently shooting for. So ya...that's my week.

For those of you who read my last blog and were wondering about my ankle, it was just a sprain...it got alot better last week and I played a little bit Friday night. Today I came back to practice and wow it is so sore right now. I'm actually icing it right now! It's a little swollen but I got my doctor coming over tomorrow to work on it some more...just a few kinks that he needs to work out of it. I'll be back...

Beer Me

I swear...first game on offense that I actually do good in. I have to get injured...I mean i still played with it but i thought that it was just a rolled ankle and now I'm patiently waiting on a call from the doctor to tell me whether or not I broke something. I couldn't walk after the game, and got X-rays Sunday and they said that they would know by this morning, but noooo, the radiologist did not get to my xray so now I have to wait another day. On another note my foot is actually getting worse...its getting more swollen every day and pain is just ya.
On a lighter note, we won the game 49 - 0, total domination. I was so happy, that was so much fun. I could possibly be back by this friday unless something is broken, or God decides otherwise.
People keep asking me who I'm planning on asking to homecoming...and It's one of those things where I think she likes me and I like her but I'm just not sure about how she feels. Its like I can't find a wall to pin it on, I mean I've even had dreams about her so I don't know what I'm gonna do. Besides If my foot is broken or for some stupid reason hasn't healed (it will have been a month) then I'm not sure if I'm gonna go, let alone ask her because if I do go then I probably won't be able to dance with her...ruins her night and my night...defeats the purpose ya know. I just want to find out! God "beer me" patience haha...if you watch "The Office" then you might get that. Well I'm out...lovely painkillers are kicking in and these colored spots are starting to pop up everywhere and I can't seem to catch one!