Fishtank

I'm sitting at my gate and I'm jusy chillin people watching. I'm thinking about how many people there are on this earth, with their own agendas, own places to go....and I will never know them. I just saw a guy with a beard and a green shirt and I will likely never see him again. If I do I doubt I'll reconize him. This world is so big and we are all trapped in such bubbles. We feel bad for fish in a tank because they will probably never experience the ocean, but are we much different? We have freedom to travel most anywhere and fish do not, but many do not travel past the borders of our nation...our giant fish tank. And just like fish, everytime someone taps on the glass of our bubble we get scared. Someone we don't know or change walks into our lives and tries to mix things up. Humans for the most part hate change but there are those out there that crave it. I feel that I am a happy medium. That doesn't matter right now though. Right now I'm trying tonlook at the bigger picture outside of me, I'm trying to look at everyone. Things we have in common...
Creator
physcal needs
dialect or language
hopes and dreams
we are all alive
we are at an airport...
But what about the deeper things? Specifics? Everyone has theirown belief set, even with a common religion. My views as a follower probably don't match exactly with all followers. How though? We have a bible...it says the same thing to everyone but not everyone interprets it the same. As followers we lack connection and community. With more denominations than I can count on my hands it is so easy to get lost. We look for churches and types of faith that fit us, but shouldn't it be us that try to fit to God? God is not maleable...He is firm and knows everything about us. What do we know? Not much! So rather than look a Gods commandments like a build your own dinner plate where we pick and choose what sounds good to us, we need to realize that we are either all in...or just lying to ourselves.

Means to an End

The other day I was walking back to my dorm from class and as I passed by the Union, a man handed me a little brochure deal that said, "How to get to Heaven" on the front. Now, I respect what this guy is doing, he is trying to spread the good word. Is he spreading the right word though? First of all I already dislike the word christian. It comes with such hypocrisy and confusion. All this thanks to those who call themselves christians but live otherwise. So already I'm thinking this guy is being judged by everyone around. I read the pamphlet though and it was interesting but as I thought about it I realized that what this pamphlet represents is wrong. It represents a literal "Means to an End." (Thats why I titled this blog). Basically the pamphlet witnesses to whoever reads it and tells you how to accept Christ and then BOOM heaven everlasting is yours. Okay....so it is telling us how to set an ensurance trap for the end of our lives. No matter what, I dont go to hell. What about the middle part..whats it call? Oh LIFE. It explained nothing about how to live as a true follower, or why, or even the 10 commandments. This is likely because that scares people. "No don't challenge them! Just give them heaven and bang we saved someone." I feel that it is one thing to just simply save someone, and its entirely something else to save them and show them how to live their lives as Christ would have them. To do this is to give them something that only God can give. They think they've experience happiness, love, and fulfillment...just wait until they've experienced joy, God's love, and God's fulfillment. All of these things only given by God. That is when they will know that they have done something incredible, they have stepped up.
As followers today we need to analyze our relationship with Christ. Is it just an ensurance trap so that we don't spend the rest of our lives in fire? Or are we actually living for God? Believe me when I say, living for God brings about things that this world can not, absolutely can not offer.

Discovery

It's been awhile....as I always say. So heres a new blog for now.

This one is about faith. Fear of God. Walking with God. Having a daily need for God. Discovering how you were once a christian living in a dead body. This is about the radical turns that my life has taken in the past 6 months.

In high school, particularly the Christian Private school world that I was in, life is like a movie. You walk through it in this Christian bubble. Yes there were drugs, sex, and alcohol where I was but it never surrounded me or tempted me. Summer was the same but then the first week of college kind of changed the game. Within 3 nights of arriving my room was packed with people who were absolutely wasted at 2 o'clock in the morning. Im not gonna lie it was hilarious and incredibly fun getting to watch all of the absent minded people. Weeks later I started struggling, not with my morals but with frustration. I never realized how bad things could be. People are one way during the week and then the weekend you suddenly realize...they are different. Parties like this didn't exist for me in Frisco, it was always have all my friends over for a cookout and flash light tag or a movie or something else that is ridiculous. That kind of fun doesn't seem to exist here and I miss that.

So now I'm in college, surrounded by everything that was outside of my little christian academy bubble and I was terrified, frustrated, confused...but I found something that I hadn't had before. I realized that I was a dead christian. I walked the walk and had some sort of faith but it wasn't true faith where I was constantly relying on God. I had nothing to struggle with so I just kinda left it to myself but now I do have things to struggle with and I take them all to God. Constant communication with God where He effects my every decision and thought. I tell God everything, my fears, my hopes, what's on my mind, how stupid I think a few of my teachers are. He wants to listen so why not say it all? Great relief comes from this, weight off my shoulders, joy enters my life and fills the gap where confusion and emptiness once resided. It's scary actually how much God has changed my life even from where I felt like I was this excellent christian. That quickly flipped as God punched me in the face...not literally of course. So now I actually am hanging on to faith and I love it. My life has never been so incredible and full of joy. I've even started my own bible study in hopes that maybe others can find what I found and feel the way I feel.



And for everyone who knows me through family or some other way that follows my life on facebook via photos and other comments....just call me and ask me how I am...do not approach me when Im at home and say that there is stuff on facebook that shouldn't be there. Do not act suprised when I tell you that I've been studying hard and say, "Oh you do study? Well there are only pictures of you partying on facebook." Do not tell me that I am with the wrong crowd and am falling into a sinful life based on research that you've done via facebook photos. That makes me so angry when people begin to assume and start calling me or making false judgements. I am having fun, I am surrounded by incredible people, I am the same person I was before college just with major improvements on my spiritual life. So now, next time I come home and I see you just say, "Hey I missed you how is college?" If you are worried about me in any way tell me that you are so that I can reassure you that I am doing fine and have not fallen into anything that I shouldn't have. Just pray for me to keep on the path that Christ has laid out for me.



Sorry for the rant but I do not know how to get into touch with these people other than my blog.

Intervention

Haven't done a blog in awhile and this one just hit me in the middle of doing laundry at...yes 2 am...college is cool like that.

Being perfect, I feel safe to say, is impossible. Yes everyone here is our intervention it is impossible. We are human we make mistakes, we move on and tread ever so carefully as we try to avoid more but at some point we will step on the broken glass. I think that in some way shape or form all of us seek perfection. Maybe not in their all around lives but perhaps sports, education, spiritual lives, maybe something else random. Well lets look at this, we have seen pitchers throw perfect games, we've seen our piers get all A's in school, and I'm sure that someone has found perfection is something else random. Spirituality though, its the hard one. Incredibly demanding, incredibly thorough even though its just 10 commandments, and incredibly difficult.

Intervention Step #1 - Spiritual Intervention

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - There it is, need I repeat it? I'm sorry but the bible says it. Okay so there went our spiritual perfection right out the window before I even got to wave. We have all heard that bible verse, I couldn't tell you what book it is in but It's meaning is simple. We do not deserve the gift that we hold in our arms. We have not earned it, our actions do not get us into heaven. Now our actions may bring us blessings, but they do not speak "Open Sesame" at the front gates of heaven.

Intervention Step #2 - Spiritual Realization

This is about the time that if your lightbulb hasn't gone off, it should soon OR you have already realized everything I'm saying and you are sitting there nodding. I mean this just kind of hit me as an interesting blog subject and I haven't blogged in awhile...besides Yvonne told me on the phone to get back at it. Yvonne says do something...you do it. Seriously. Anyway we understand that we cannot be perfect, breath, its okay. Many of us have heard that argument, WE ARE BORN INTO A SINFUL WORLD V. WE ARE BORN WITH A SIN NATURE. Basically we are born perfect and learn sin through this imperfect world or we are born with a sinful nature and no matter how perfect or imperfect the world is...we are born to sin. I don't stand on either side as of now BUT no matter the answer, they are no excuse. "I sinned because its in my nature"...ehhhh try a new one...doctors note perhaps? Realize that you are responsible for yourself. God is there, friends are there though. Pray for God to help you, go to friends for encouragement and discipleship. Believe me, if you are serious, your world will absolutely be rocked.

This blog may seem pointless but to me its something personal. I grew up as that kid in sunday school telling myself, "I'm never messing up, I'm going to be perfect." Wellllllll I lied right then so i screwed up that same day. I lie! I sin! I am a sinner. Okay well what do I do with that? Sit around and mope? I say no. Active christianity involves you getting active with God in your life. Give yourself fully to him, what does he want for you? The best. He will use you according to his perfect will and we will not always like it. Abide by him and his commandments. The world will laugh and make fun of you, the bible basically says it but we are encouraged to stay strong. This would all be pointless if it wasn't reasy right? If you feel like you can't make anything of this life, read the bible, you will realize that you have EVERYTHING to do with God and his plan.

Greatest Freakout!

One of the most helarious videos I've ever seen! Just to make it clear, this kids mom DELETED his World of Warcraft account...this is just as funny as it is sad...these people are addicts.

Not So Fast Anymore

I failed in my sugarfast...not to temptation however, but to health. I found myself sleepless at night with a raging headache and sweat dripping from me. At first I thought I was just de-toxing from sugar and continued but a call to Dr. Cliff Sheets, my friendly neighborhood nutritionist, quickly put that to an end. He told me that by completely cutting out sugar from my life had drained my glucose levels and my adrenaline glands were beginning to malfunction (I think). In short I ran down stairs and had an apple at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was 4 days into the fast so the sugar definately buzzed me as I suddenly found myself wanting to go running or lift weights. I am still however going with the 21 day fast from purchasing myself necessities with my own money. I know that it is something that you would give up for lint but I didn't think of it at the time. I also think that I have a sort of problem with saving for something only to blow all the money on a random day after making it halfway to the item I originally intended to save my money for. We all have that problem though. I am hoping that these three weeks will help settle my urge to spend cashmoney and that I pray for patience because I need it. I mean there is this video game that is calling for me....only I cannot buy it. Awesome.

When Words Mean Nothing

One of the most valuable things that we all hold in our lives is probably our words. No not our ability to speak, but how much strength and weight our words hold with others...if that makes sense. For example, someone falsely accuses me of stealing. I am asked if I did indeed steal and I say no and give my half of the story. If I am trustworthy then my words will hold weight with the person and they should believe me. I don't know if that example helped but please continue reading and hold on to this speck of hope that you will understand. ' (speck). At a very young age everyone picks up lying for some amount of time. Depending on the parents, they might jump on you right away or let it go for awhile finding it cute, but either way we learn to lie. Some begin to quickly learn it's consequences while others quickly learn that there are no consequences if you do not get caught. People that live a life lying eventually earn that reputation and people find them hard to trust at points. What are we if we cannot be trusted? Are we nothing? No we are a person whose words fall upon numbed ears. I say numbed because if you are used to someone lying to you then you eventually just ignore them and live your life. If your words hold no weight you are in a serious hole. People need to trust you, people need to hear you. If people can't then you can never have a deep relationship with a girlfriend, friend, even God. Your relationship may seem deep but if you can't tell the truth to your friend, then who can you? More than likely you are lying to yourself...especially about the intimate relationship thingy. We CANNOT go before God and wear a mask while we scream, "Here I am Lord, all of me." You CANNOT go to your friend and tell them that you are their for them as your condensates on the mouth of the mask that covers your face. If you do...you just might the reply, "who is there for me? certainly not my friend because I don't even know who you are." Maybe not those exact words but I hope you are getting the idea. Still holding onto the speck of hope I gave you? EEEEEEExcellent. To quickly get to my point I leave you with this. Our words our so powerful. They can raise spirits or tear down the strongest of men. They can encourage and rally and they can bring tears as well as cause harm. First, keep the weight of your words strong as you hold others trust in you....don't live behind that mask, and final, use their weight for good...you have them for a reason.