My Stomach in My Throat and My Heart on the Table

Today was just one of those days where you look up towards heaven and just scream "Alright, God...You Broke Me...now what?" I'll start with last night. I got home from my trip to Estes Park Colorado and had subway then went to visit my girlfriend. After that I arrived home only to find that my dog Max was not feeling well. He was shaky and he also vomited a few times. i was up with him until around 3 am. I had a golf tournament this morning that I had to leave my house around 630 for. I awoke to the bright green light of my clock making the figures of 647 and I had 3 missed calls from my dad. Great start...but wait it get's better. I made a protein shake for my tournament and it tasted kinda funny. I finished it and then realized that whoever had washed it last had not washed it well and left a good amount of soap in it. So now I'm tired and I am ready to hurl my guts out. The tournament did not go well and I decided to give up...I'm not proud of it but my dad told me afterwards, "You didn't quit, you just retreated. Sometimes you just gotta know when to retreat." That helped a lot to know that he supported my decision. I got in my truck and removed my golf shoes, i then proceded to look up and say "Alright, God...You broke me...now what?" I got home and heard that my mom had taken max to the vet because he had not improved. I called the vet when I got into my room to check up on him and I got the reply that I did not want, "Andrew I am really worried about Max, He is in bad shape. I will call your mom and explain the situation to her." I broke down, Max is just one of those lights in this somewhat dark world we live in and he is a huge part of my life. I showered then went downstairs. My Mom saw me and told me about Max...I looked at her and said I know then broke down again...I couldn't take it...I need max. To further explain the situation Max had digested a rat that had been exposed to rat poison, and so max was infected. His lungs were full of fluid and he had internal bleeding. We called the company to find out what kind of poison was in it's traps so we could help the Doctors as much as possible. I ended up going to the vet with my mom to talk face to face with the Doctor. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life when the Doctor walked towards us...I broke down again. She however gave my mom and I a ray of hope. She told us he was stable and that he had a possibility of going home tonight. She said that we could go and see him but I knew I couldn't and my mom felt the same so we went and ate. The doctor told us that she would call us after Max had his blood transfusion. It wasn't until around 6 that we got the call and I jumped up and down never feeling so excited before as my mom told me to go pick him up. He was okay...I loved that thought. I drove to pick him up with a smile on my face. I met the doctor and she told me what precautions to take with him. I had to cancel all my plans that night so that I could keep him in the game room as I kept an eye on him. He has a pretty awful cough due to the remaining fluid in his lungs and if his coughing sessions went longer than usual a few times than I was supposed to take him to the animal ER. So now he is sleeping on my bed and doing fine. He coughs and hacks but he is definitely improving. Tomorrow I have to take him in early for another blood transfusion and chest x-ray...from then on he should be getting back to the normal crazy dog he is but it will be a few weeks. If anything I feel blessed that he is still here and terrified of what could have happened today.

Like A Good Book

I am a people watcher yes I admit it...but so are you! We all people watch but some take there people watching more serious than others. I don't I just think it is funny to write about. I enjoy reading people in public places, for example... The pity laugher, The I'm really not happy to see you, The I really want to eat this but can't, and my favorite The I'm checking her out and I don't think anyone knows. People are so funny so why not watch them? I'm going to colorado Thursday and will more than likely spend all my airport free time reading people. I can't wait to laugh at the pity laugher, they are great. That guy that seems so desperate because he is checking out everything that walks by him just gives me the creeps yet I applaud him because he is entertaining. Honestly people really are like a good book.

My Trainer Doing Stand-Up

This is his second time to ever do this...he is also a hardcord redneck.

The deafening Heartbeat

Lately I have been swimming laps in the pool for exercise and I have always found this fascinating. I hope that many of you who read this will see it as amazing as I do. After a few laps your heart is racing...I always go under water and sit for a few seconds to let everything go quiet and then I can hear my heartbeat. It is so loud, like popping your finger under water, but you can almost feel the shock-waves from your chest pounding in the water. Sometimes I'll close my eyes and let myself sink to the bottom...in the seemingly never-ending space of the bottom of my pool I can hear it louder than ever. I can feel it beating through my body and feel it in the water all around me. When I do this it is not like my heartbeat is racing but it is beating harder than usual. Could it possibly be my body reacting to the feeling of being in infinite space? I relate it to being in the middle of a room in pitch black darkness...if you have read my entry about fear then you should understand. It's my body reacting to the silent fear (that being the fear that I subconsciously have) of being under water not being able to see? It feels so cool because you don't feel closed in, you don't feel like you are in a pool. Take the lake this weekend for example, my friend lucas and I were just off of the shore of their lakehouse and we were wading out until we had to swim to stay above water. We then continued to swim to the bottom and come back up just to see how deep it is. It was so terrifically terrifying being under water in the lake because it is pitch black and huge. For a moment (until you reach the bottom) you are floating in space and there is nothing around you. The water itself does not even feel like it is there. Some of you may say that I am taking a simple event like swimming way over the edge and I am in fact weird. That is okay, I'm just telling you what goes on in my head.

Stranded

No this is not a blog about a new reality show that I am creating, it is actually about a situation that everyone has been put in. It is a situation of desperation, extreme danger, and embarrassing reality. If you read my beloved sister Katy's blog, you may see that this particular entry resembles many of hers. This is because it is overly detailed (as in to much information), personally embarrassing, and you make exit the page disgusted...enjoy.
So everyone has been in this situation...There I am, innocently sitting on the pot (toilet) taking care of my bizniz (business), and as I complete what I like to call "Double Overtime" I reach for my good friend Mr. TP. As I reach for Mr. TP I realize that he is absent from my bathroom, all that I can feel is cardboard...this is not a comforting feeling. It's like walking up the stairs to your room in the dark, and thinking that there is one more stair than there actually is your foot falls through the air and there is a short moment of sickly surprise (I'd like to thank the academy). I was terrified, I continued to scan my tiny sanctuary for a spare roll yet my eyes fall upon nothing soft, white, and papery. This next part I am not proud of but I was desperate. I stood up from my throne to check the cabinet for a roll yet that is also empty...to be even more detailed I was actually getting ready to shower so I had no clothes on...sexxxxxxxxy. I knew that my only chance of survival was to proceed down the hall into my sister katy's room...there was word that toilet paper had been sighted there. I planned this out hardcore alright, I knew that my mom was napping with my nephew connor, so they were taken care of and would not see the embarrassing situation that I was in, Ricky was outside, and Elena...could be anywhere. She was the only threat, I had about 15 yards to Katy's room, those 15 yards will be referred to as "No Mans Land". I decided to put on some boxers but I had to walk awkwardly as to keep them you know...clean. I truly am disgusted at how detailed this blog is but it's been inspired by Katy...blame her. Anyway I poke my head out my door, coast was clear and it was go time. It was a left out of my room, up 3 stairs, and a right into the safe haven. I proceeded quickly into No Mans Land and I was terrified. This could potentially have been the most embarrassing moment of my life...but it wasn't because let's face it, I'm just that good. So I make it into Katy's bathroom and do what I need to do. After all was said and done I noticed that she had one of those super magnified mirrors on her wall. I had to investigate. It was so cool, it even had a light around it. This thing was the bees knees ya know, but then I looked into it and It was very revealing as to how scary my face actually looks. Let's just say that I may have nightmares cause this thing is close up and personal.

I sincerely apologize for this blog but it was worth it. I am human and everyone has had that happen to them. I just wrote about it!

Gods Pop Test

You know how people say that God is always testing us. That whenever we pray to God for something he provides us with opportunities instead of just giving us what we asked for. For a better idea I provide the example of me asking God to help me make good decisions during my highschool career, instead of just making good decisions for me God provides me with opportunities to make those good decisions. God answers our prayers, he helps us, and he also rewards us. This idea came to me while I was hiking around a lake and partly up a mountain today in the Grand Tetons National Park. I realized that I wanted to turn back, I was tired and didn't want to go any further. We got to one point where we had a choice to either go to a boat dock and take a boat back or climb further up the mountain and see more of the beauty it has to offer. I decided, "I'm here and I am not missing out on anything." I made it to the first stop, about 2/10 of a mile, at a huge waterfall that was beautiful. I had a choice again to continue steeply uphill another 5/10 of a mile to the last stop on the trail, a place called inspiration point. It was not easy but I got there and it was magnificent. An overlook of a lake and mountains with a seemingly painted sky. It hit me, I could have missed out on all of this if I had decided to go to the boat dock. I feel that God rewards us if we accept challenges that he faces us with. He challenged me with a mountain, or some of a mountain, and I was rewarded with sights that I will never forget. I am going to do my best to apply this to my life, that maybe the challenges in front of us are just Gods way of answering our prayers and testing us. Well todays test was worth it, and I believe tomorrows will be too.

Sodas, Elephants, and Colors....What are We Thinking?

Okay this is an incredibly broad subject to write about so if I go off on any tangents, which I plan to, I hope that you enjoy them. The other night I was standing in line for the cash register at my local blockbuster at the corner of Legacy and Lebanon...it's my usual spot. Getting bored I proceeded to people watch. (You know you do this as well) There was a little girl begging her mom for a soda from the new cafe area at the blockbuster. I kinda did one of those corny laughs when she got denied by her mom, you know that laugh that says I've been there. She returned the soda to it's original location in the fridge and started walking around trying to entertain herself. At that moment I wondered what it was that she was thinking. That led to the thought of what do people think when they are not thinking. (Now thats deep) We have all wondered this occasionally, especially when some smart butt comes up to you and tells you to think about anything except for elephants. No matter how hard you try elephants are glued into your mind until you laugh at the joke. I hate that joke but its clever. But what is it that we think when we are not thinking? Well I guess that we are always thinking just sometimes unintentionally. Now take a minute and try not to think...........stop trying it is impossible and you will drive yourself crazy. We dream when we sleep, we phase out during class, and we think about the meaning of life...the point is we are always thinking. At this very moment I am thinking about what I am going to type, that thought is turned into an action as my brain sends signals to my fingers and eyes as I type the letters on my keypad. That sentence was pre-meditated as I drove down legacy on my way home from blockbuster. It is fascinating really, I mean back during the Roman times people were known and honored for just thinking. Crap they were called the great thinkers. I get bored when I just sit and think...and all they did was think. The word think is being heavily overused in this blog and I apologize but it is necessary when writing about thinking itself. Even now as I type I am realizing how pointless of a blog this is. To write about thinking is to write about...well I don't know but it is such a broad subject yet so fascinating that I love it. How does the disgusting, gooey, nasty, freaky think inside our skull do this? Think that is. To all Darwinists and Evolutionists...explain that to me. I know that doctors have some idea of why we have dreams and how they are created yadayadayada and I will more than likely google it in the next few minutes and be humored for hours as I learn all about the human psyche and how our brains work. Or I will simply roll over and go to bed, but the time for that decision will come and it is not now. Im gonna sound like a total loony right here but I have decided that I am okay with that, your opinion is your own and I will not argue with it. Sometimes I try to think things into reality, in an imaginative sort though. I close my eyes, and please tell me you see colors too, and I try to imagine red, green, blue, yellow, whatever colors there are. Most of the time the color that I think will show up in my view as my eyes are rolled up in my head. It is so awesome, hmph but I am not weird or anything I am curious. (Famous last words) So please let this blog encourage you to think about what it is that you are thinking when you are not really thinking while you annoy yourself endlessly with this never ending thought. But first wrap your head around that sentence and try to understand it because I think I lost myself after using the word think...good luck.